Page 41 of Baker
“Mm, yeah, but a lot of that was on me. People had whispered about him taking a new young lover every semester, but I dismissed those rumors. And if he had, surely, he would not toss me aside when I returned next fall. I was just that special,” he snorted in derision.
“You are very special.” I dropped a kiss on his shoulder. He hummed softly.
“Thank you, but not that special because when we did return in the fall, he had moved on to someone else. Of course, he’d not been man enough to tell me over the summer when we’d been sexting each other. No, he just dumped me like a used condom on the first day of classes. I still remember running to his office, filled with joy about finally seeing him again, and walking in on some freshman giving him a blowjob. Needless to say, that tore a chunk out of me that never really healed. I mourned him for months, years probably, if I’m being honest. I never againlet another man get that close. Until you and now I am shitting bricks.”
“Me too. We could build a house with the amount of bricks the two of us are dropping,” I tossed out, and he chuckled.
“Hell, we could probably build a town.” With that, he shuffled back to his side to look at me. “I’d like to take a chance with you, on us, but I’m going to need a long leash for a while. Like roll me back inch by inch when I start to try to break away.”
“Nope, I’m not snapping a leash on you. Either you want to curl up with me at night or you want to roam the wilds alone. I’m not going to force you to stay home when you have a wanderer’s heart. Go take your pictures wherever you wish. You know where I’ll be.”
He wiggled close to steal a kiss. “You could come with me.”
“Maybe someday, but not now. I have a heaping helping of work and family to get settled into place. Also, and I’m being frank as hell here because I want honesty from you in return, I will need to see that you come back to me on your own. I’ve had a lot of people that I loved leave, and I know it’s a childhood trauma thing, but it lingers. So go be the man with the camera up in Canada, and when it’s time to come back here, if you still feel the same, I’ll be at the ranch yelling at my brothers to quiet the hell down for fuck’s sake.”
“I’ll be back.” It sounded like a vow, but I didn’t take it as a promise. We both were men with trust issues, so time would be the only real thing that would chip away at the distrust that shielded our hearts.
“Say that with an Austrian accent,” I teased. He snorted then rolled me to my back and murmured things ala Arnold as he carried me to the stars yet again. I’d never ridden a rocket to the moon while having lines fromPredatorwhispered in my ear. Yes, he was mixing his Arnold movies, but so what? It was an erotic and oddly endearing experience. Reaching orgasm as theman inside you grumbled “Get to the chopper!” added a whole new dimension to making love.
15
Chapter Fifteen
It was two-fifteen in the morning and I was on maternity watch with an overstimulated ten-year-old.
Why did this kid have so much energy at this time of the morning? Why did this goat decide to go into labor at this time of the morning? Could she not have chosen a better time to get a baby stuck and make us call out Aiden? Would Ieverget any rest?
Those were all questions that I had no answers to. No one had told us that these goats were going to start dropping babies left and right all within a damn week. I kept shooting dark looks at Willy as he slumbered unconcerned about his children or his lady loves. The boy was showing more concern for this breech birth than the real father lying over there snoring. Willy and I were going to have a long heart-to-heart as soon as the vet left. I glanced at the goat doe, Petal, she had been named, trying her best to give birth but not being able to do so.
So far, all we’d seen emerge was a tail. I was no veterinarian, but I’d been around cattle long enough to know that front feet and the head should be presenting first. I’d been forced to help a few cows in the past, but that was a much bigger area to work in than a goat. Also, what I knew about caprines could fit into a thimble, yet here I was with a ten-year-old toughing it out. Had to give the lad credit, he was one fine goatherder. He’d been sleeping in the goat barn the past five nights. The goat kids that had been born had loved it. Nothing like a slumbering boy in a sleeping bag to leap onto and then off. If I crashed on the floor of the barn, they’d need a damn forklift to get me to my feet. Oh, to be young again.
“When will Aiden get here?” Dahn asked for the tenth time in five minutes. He paced the small pen we’d filled with fresh bedding like an expectant father. Again, I shot Willy a glower. He reminded me of my father, but I kept that sourness to myself.
I was about to reply when the door to the barn slid open and Aiden hustled in. Petal blatted as Dahn hooted. I pushed off the square bale I’d been sitting on as the vet climbed over the gate and made his way to the tired doe.
“Sorry I took so long,” he said as he began prepping to assist poor Petal.
“Dude, it was twenty minutes,” I reminded him as we gathered around behind him.
“Twenty minutes can be too long,” he said before he realized that we had a child present. “I’m sure this kid will be just fine, though. Can you run to the house and ask Granny for some fresh coffee?”
Dahn seemed torn, but he raced off. Aiden glanced at me. “I’m going to show you what to do here since you have experience birthing calves. It’s not that much different.” I begged to differ. I doubted you could hook onto a skinny goat leg with a calfpuller. They just seemed so much more fragile than cattle. “Pay attention. First, we wash up.”
By the time Dahn, Granny, and the rest of the house came thundering out, Petal was back on her feet and her enormous baby boy was trying to stand up.
Coffee was served to all. Ford crept into the pen with Daisy, sleepy still, but intent on the new buck kid wobbling about on spindly legs.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Ford demanded after Aiden had packed his bag and went home, fully caffeinated, after spending a good hour talking with my youngest brother about goats.
“Because you were up all last night. It was our turn. The kid has a long weekend off and doesn’t seem to require rest like us old farts. Everything was fine.”
Ford huffed and muttered at me, but I was too tired to care. I handed the goat kid watch off to Dodge and his son, now slumbering with the four-legged kid, and fumbled my way to my bed. After a shower, I took a moment to slip a ruler into my cast to dig at a persistent itch. I could not wait to get the damn thing off. Despite what Aiden had said about the bone not knitting as quickly as he would like to see and his suggestion to leave the cast be for another few weeks, I was over it. I had a Dremel tool out in the shed that would do a fine job and save the ranch a few hundred bucks in ER fees. Call me a penny pincher. Yes, I saved money by getting my vet friend to X-ray my arm. Was I a poodle? No. Did I care? Nope.
Crawling in between the sheet and the blanket, I rolled to my side, cast resting on my hip, and stared at the stars in the sky. Hanley was out there, way up north, taking pictures that were truly stunning. He’d been in contact a few times with images of the Canadian wildlife in the Great Bear Rainforest, praise for the naturalist he was working with, and a cautious tone. Every timehe signed off with a casual “see you soon,” I prayed it would come true. I wasn’t sure if I was in love, but it sure felt like something big blooming in my chest. I think I was keeping that bud in the dark, out of the sun, out of fear. If he came back, I could move it from the dark out into the sunlight and let it grow.
But until he returned, I’d keep that tiny floret in the shadows to protect it and myself.
***
