Page 34 of The Heartstrings of Harry
First thing the next morning I’d drop by and collect my gift.
But before that… I needed to buy Dean a new toothbrush.
* * *
I opened the door toOld Man Raven’s General Storeand was instantly met with that familiar smell of dusty shelves, moose-leather moccasins and out-of-date rat poison. As the bell above the door dinged, Old Man Raven looked up from behind the counter where he was slotting packs of cigarettes into the empty spaces of a candy stand.
“Harry! Good to see you. How are you this fine morning?”
I stepped up to the counter. “I’m okay.” I pointed to the stand he was filling. “Should you be doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Placing the Marlboro next to the Snickers. Is that even legal?”
Old Man Raven shrugged. “I dunno. Why don’t you ask Sheriff Gates next time he drops in to pick up his candy and cigarettes. You want some?”
“Thanks, but I’m trying to watch my weight.”
Old Man Raven’s face lit up. “Good news for you, my friend. I’ve got a special on at the moment for anyone on a diet. Two candy bars for the price of one when you purchase any packet of cigarettes.”
“Is that supposed to help with dieting?”
“No, but it helps stop the urge to kill the next person you see just because you’re not allowed to have a donut. So, whaddaya say? I can practically hear the candy bars and cigarettes calling your name.”
“That’s great, but I don’t smoke.”
“Even better news, I’ve got a special on at the moment for non-smokers. Twenty percent off cigarettes with any candy bar purchase. No matter which way you spin it, it’s a win-win. Besides, we all know how hard it is to quit smoking. Go on, reward yourself.”
“I hate to tell you this, but I’ve never actually quit smoking because I never started smoking in the first place.”
Old Man Raven grabbed a pack of Marlboro off the stand, opened it, and offered me one. “It’s never too late to start.”
I eyed him suspiciously. “Please tell me you don’t give this sales spiel to the kids who come in after school.”
He ignored my comment, put a cigarette between his lips, and lit up. “Your loss,” he said, sending a plume of smoke into the air. “So, if you don’t want smokes or sweets, what is it I can do for you today?”
“I’m after a toothbrush. It has to be electric. It has to be the fanciest, most expensive toothbrush you’ve got.”
“Fancy, you say?”
“Yep.”
“Expensive, you say?”
“Uh-huh.”
Old Man Raven grinned. “You’ve come to the right place. Follow me.”
We weaved through the maze-like shelves that cluttered the store, past the fishing tackle and the women’s lingerie and the canned hotdogs and the packets of sea monkeys with the corners eaten out of them that made me think the marine monkeys had somehow chewed their way to freedom, until we arrived at an aisle that could only be described as bathroom -hygiene -meets -mousetraps.
Old Man Raven wasted no time, plucking an electric toothbrush off the top shelf and blowing the dust off the packaging.
“This is the one you want,” he said, handing me the box. “Fully rechargeable, state-of-the-art technology with advanced swivel action delivering a deep clean guaranteed to remove one hundred percent of plaque and provide a pristine, floss-like clean.”
I was impressed. “Wow, you really do know your products.”
“It’s been sitting on the shelf for twenty years, I’ve had time to work on my pitch. I’ll even throw in half-price batteries.”
