Page 140 of When Worlds Collide
“Kaiya – you ARE going home, right?”
I knew she didn’t mean to, but the tone of judgment was loud and clear.
“It’s not that simple.” I was suddenly so, so tired.
“Babes, this is one of those times that family comes first. I know you love the idol, and I’m not telling you to break up, but... It wouldn’t need to be forever – just until she’s better, and this goddamn virus goes away."
Becka sighed, and there was a pause as I realised I didn't have any good words to say.
“I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but if I’m the only one telling you this, then you need to hear it all the more. You need to go home. Today, tomorrow. Soon.”
“My Visa will be cancelled.” I regurgitated the same thing Jihoon told me every time we had this conversation. I wasn’t even sure if it was my argument, or his.
A tear ran down my cheek before I even knew it was in my eye.
“Fuck the Visa!” Becka bit out. “Has it even been issued yet?”
I leaned forward, but resisted the urge to lean my head against the metal handle of the seat in front of me.
“No.”
“Babes…”
And she didn’t need to say it, because… I knew.
Becka heaved a breath. “I would never tell you to do anything that wasn’t to follow your dream, chase your love, and live your best life, you know that. Or, at the very least, I try to do all that in accordance with what I think is best–”
I barked out a laugh.
“–but this time… babes, you know that curse, ‘may you live in interesting times’? We’re there. We’re living in interesting times and if I know one thing you Brits don’t, it’s that when a storm is brewing, you head home and batten down the hatches. Babes, go home.”
I don’t know what I would have said at that moment, because just then the bus slowed to a stop and, looking out the window, I saw we had arrived at the stop closest to the apartment building.
“Becka, I gotta go, I’m at my stop. I’ll call you… later.”
“Think about what I said.”
“I will.”
And I would, because how could I think about anything else?
Jihoon was late. He and the other members were in the studio laying down some backing tracks, and so when he eventually arrived home, it was well after 11:00 pm.
I squinted as he turned on the lights. I’d been so busy looking between my phone and my laptop that I’d barely noticed the transition from light to dark, as the light coming in the balcony doors went from fading sunlight to the ambience of street lights.
“Ky? What are you doing in the dark?”
I looked up at him, and knew the second he saw my face. I could tell that he knew. I didn’t need to say it, but he asked anyway.
“You’ve decided?”
Wordlessly, I nodded.
“Are you sure?”
“I have to.” My voice was hoarse from all the crying I’d done, from almost the moment I’d gotten in the front door. Maybe before that.
Because Becka was right. Of course she was.
