Page 93 of A World Apart
Light poured in through the open blinds of the double windows, casting long puddles of sunlight across the sheets and reflecting off all the polished surfaces of the bathroom through the open door opposite me, little solar flares that stung my eyes as they flickered open.
I scrunched my nose in disgust and tried to curl back into the thick, comforting duvet, but my progress was hampered by the heavy arm thrown over my waist and the firm body behind me.
The night before came back to me in a slow, leisurely narrative that had me curling my toes in delicious delight. Rather than feel embarrassed or shy, I surprised myself by feeling a little like the cat who got the cream.
I stretched, reaching my arms up and tensing my legs in a full body stretch that pulled at my sleep-relaxed muscles in a way that almost felt erotic.
The arm around my waist tightened, pulling me harder against the wall of skin and muscle behind me. I pressed my butt back against him, unthinking, and my mind momentarily blanked when I felt him poking into my behind. Jihoon’s hand that lay flat against my belly began to trace a slow, leisurely path upwards over my ribs and then settled onto one of my breasts, palming it intimately. Goosebumpsfollowed his fingers and I had to bite back a gasp as his warm fingers grazed over my sensitive nipple.
He nuzzled my neck, his breath tickling my skin. I sighed, leaning my head further to the side to grant him access. He pressed a light kiss to my pulse point as he lightly squeezed my naked breast, the nightgown still hanging open from last night.
I rolled onto my back and met Jihoon’s gaze, his eyes a rich bronze in the morning light, framed by such dark lashes it seemed like his irises were casting shadows.
He smiled at me and said, “Good morning, sleepyhead.”
“Good morning,” I giggled, shy now under the scrutiny of the most beautiful man I had ever seen.
He lifted his hand from my chest and ran it up my neck to cradle my jaw, his thumb rubbing softly over my cheekbone. He made me feel so delicate, so treasured, that my heart stuttered. I knew I would be in trouble if things carried on as they had been, but all I saw in his eyes was unguarded contentment, so in that moment I made the decision to do this thing whole-heartedly. No more second guessing.
I reached up my arms to wind them around his neck and pulled him in towards me, kissing him soundly. I felt him smile against my lips, it was a feeling I would never take for granted.
It was the kind of kiss that had no rush or frenzy to it, just two people so into each other that kissing was a necessary thing. Our hands roamed up and down freely, exploring and caressing in equal measure. It felt like freedom. The freedom to touch him, and to kiss him after months of separation. The freedom to be here in this moment with him without concern of anyone seeing us together. The freedom to be unabashedly, with absolute conviction, in this together.
I was so into what was happening right at that moment, that I almost missed the niggling thought, the lingering uncertainty. The question mark that hovered in my head over the word, ‘relationship.’
There had been no conversation, no declaration, no thought of it really. Except for now. I’d call it the ‘harsh light of day,’ but to be fair, though it was bright, the light streaming in the windows was quite lovely.
But still, now I’d thought about it, I couldn’t unthink it. Jihoon must have sensed my hesitation because he pulled back from where he’d been nibbling on my lower lip to meet my gaze.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice so low and slightly breathless, I couldn’t help smile.
“Yeah,” I curled my fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck, “just thinking too hard.”
“Mmm,” he hummed, “don’t do that.” He lowered his lips to my throat, swirling patterns into my skin so successfully that it scattered every thought in my brain.
A little while later, we were lying in each other’s arms, listening to the birds in the garden, when Jihoon tilted his head down to look at me.
“Can I ask you something?”
Languidly, I stretched, so relaxed my body felt like a pool of melted butter in the warmth of his arms.
“Sure,” I said easily.
“How is it that you’ve never…”
I waited a moment for him to continue his thought, but when his cheeks pinked up, I understood what he was asking.
“Oh! Um.” I chuckled nervously. “I guess I just never found someone I wanted to sleep with.”
“No boyfriends?”
“I’ve had boyfriends,” I said, keeping my tone even so I didn’t sound as defensive as I felt. “Before I went to University, I was with my boyfriend for two years, but we were so young. Then he broke up with me.” I shrugged.
“Why?” He asked, and I had to fight a smile at the confusion in his tone. It was very flattering.
“We went to different universities, and he didn’t want to have a long-distance relationship,” I said. “He didn’t want to miss out on all the relationships he could have at uni.” I scoffed. Last I’d heard, he was single.
“The next boyfriend I had cheated on me before we’d gotten serious enough to do anything. Although, maybe that’s why he cheated,” I added, contemplatively.
