Page 85 of A World Apart
The dangerous duality of this man…
I could only nod as we walked, hand-in-hand back into the house.
He led me back upstairs to the master bedroom before turning around and leaving me, like we’d just finished a date and he’d walked me to my front door.
My head spun as I walked through the bedroom to the bathroom and turned on the shower. How could someone so chivalrous be so skilled at seduction? Because I was absolutely certain I had been thoroughly seduced, and just like that evening we’d spent on the beach, I knew completely that if he’d laid me down in the grass, I would have let him.
As I stripped and then stood under the spray − perfect temperature and pressure − I examined my feelings on this.
Did I want to sleep with Jihoon? Judging by the lingerie Becka had stuffed in my bag, she was betting I would, but when I thought about it, I wasn’t sure how I felt. I was unarguably, inexcusably attracted to Jihoon, I mean, who wouldn’t be? But past just being nice to look at, the attraction went far deeper, I knew that. I wanted him and I wanted to know him. I wasn’t sure I could skip that step, and while I felt like I was getting there, I wasn’t sure if I felt secure enough in our ‘whatever-this-was-ship’ yet.
Half of me felt conflicted by my own resistance. Intellectually, I knew and agreed with the idea that ‘virginity’ was a social construct… patriarchy... yada, yada, yada. But the other part of me did see it as a big deal.
I sighed. I wasn’t going to solve this in the span of one shower.
Not long later, I was clean and smelling like sea moss and citrus − according to the fancy bottles I’d found in the shower. Wrapped in a fluffy robe, I was just rifling through my bag for something comfortable to lounge in, when a knock at the door sounded.
“Come in,” I called, without thinking. Jihoon opened the door and stepped into the room before he stopped abruptly and turned back around to face the door. I looked at him in confusion.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“You’re not dressed.” He rasped.
Hastily, I glanced down at myself in case my robe had parted, but it was tightly tied.
“Jihoon, I’m wearing a robe, I’m not naked.” I fought the self-conscious laugh brewing in my chest.
He glanced over his shoulder but turned back around just as fast. I put my hands on my hips.
“Jihoon, I was wearing less in the pool,” I said, reasonably. “Turn around, please.”
He did, but kept his eyes pointed at the floor. I walked towards him, adding in a little sway, just because. I stood in front of him and looked up until I caught his eyes.
“You can look at me,” I said gently. He lifted his head, but kept his eyes on mine. I wanted to reach out, but I didn’t want to overstep. I didn’t know where the boundaries where.
I took a breath and decided to be mature and actually ask him.
“I don’t understand why this−” I motioned to myself, “is worse than me in a bikini. I need you to tell me so I don’t do something wrong.” My voice wavered at the end, the events of the day, the emotional roller-coaster of it all catching up with me.
Jihoon frowned, his mouth an unhappy line.
“You’ve done nothing wrong, it’s not bad.” He sighed and reached for my face, cupping me gently, as if he was scared of hurting me. Then a look passed across his face, a subtle change that had me swaying towards him ever so slightly.
“It’s different, because I know that if I were to pull this−” he moved one hand to the tie that fastened the robe around my waist and pulled on it lightly, but enough that my robe loosened just a tiny bit.
I swallowed, my heart hammering a frantic pulse.
“And if I put my hand just here−” he moved his hand from the tie to slightly further up, where the robe was folded over my chest, placing it flat against my ribs. “I could slide my hand inside.” To illustrate his point, he pressed slightly. I gasped when I felt his finger tip lightly graze my skin. He softly ran it up and down, barely even touching me, not really, but in that moment, I was hyper fixated on every centimetre of skin he grazed.
I willed him to kiss me, to slide his hand all the way in, but instead he caressed my cheek with his other hand and then took a respectable step back. I almost went with him, that irresistible magnetism I felt nearly taking me with it. Instead, I drew a steadying breath into my lungs and was gratified to see he was scarcely more composed than I was.
“I’ll get dressed and meet you downstairs.” I croaked. He ran a hand through his damp hair, nodding as he turned around and left.
I huffed out a long breath, turning back around to consider my clothing options, trying my damnedest to ignore my pounding heart and mounting desire, something I’d done a half-assed job of ignoring up until this point, but there it was.
“Holy hell,” I breathed.
Chapter 27
