Page 72 of A World Apart
[Sent 17:18]
I choked on a sip of Ginseng tea.
When the music video and the song dropped for ‘Work Harder,’ it seemed like the whole world flipped out, or at least, the online sphere I was plugged into.
It was edgy, it was catchy, and once I’d looked up a translation of the lyrics, it was as meaningful as any of the other songs.
A song about never giving up, always reaching further, always working harder for the thing you want.
The music video concept was visually striking, featuring solo work and dances from each member, as well as ensemble. The way they moved didn’t seem human, especially from Sungmin, the group’s best dancer.
Where Sungmin was the dancer and Woojin was the best rapper, Jihoon was the main vocalist and also known as ‘the visual,’ which he had told me he still found strange. In the music video, they’d dressed the members in all black − money-men suits and slicked back hair, heavy emphasis on their eyes. I could see why he was called the visual, because damn, I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
The group were in full promo-mode now, Jihoon had said. So, at the end of the month, they were flying to Japan for three days to attend the TMA awards show. It was a star-studded, annual show where they, along with a host of other groups and soloists would perform and potentially bring home yet more awards to add to the stockpile they’d been collecting since their debut.
Jihoon had already told me he probably wouldn’t be able to speak with me during the trip, even if only because they were being filmed the whole time by their staff for content. They also had to be at the actual awards venue nearly the entire day, from blocking rehearsals in the morning, going back to the hotel for food and to change, back to the venue for the red carpet and interviews, and then the ceremony itself would take hours. It sounded exhausting, and not at all the fun, glamorous event it seemed on tv.
I also wouldn’t be able to live stream it because it wasn’t available in the US, so I’d have to be content with watching whatever footage was published after the event, which bummed me out a bit.
GVibes flew out early on the Wednesday morning, which was Tuesday afternoon for me. I’d snuck into the ladies’ room to take his call as he was heading to the airport, which earned me a couple of disapproving looks from the people who’d come in to actually use the bathroom. The flight was only a couple of hours from Seoul to Tokyo, so he’d called again as the group shuttled from the airport to their hotel, since I was at home by that time.
He’d shown me the view from their hotel; it seemed like they were staying in the clouds, they were up so high. I didn’t mention it, but it felt weird that he was there − in Japan − where my mum had spent so much time and where she’d met my father. I didn’t even know if he was still alive.
Normally the thought of my biological father didn’t even cross my mind, but I supposed it was a normal reaction to Jihoon being there.
But it did put me in a weird funk for the rest of the day.
I tried to talk to Becka about it later, and while she sympathised, I could tell she hadn’t really known what to say to me.
I’d been getting a bit testy recently, my temper fraying a little more easily than normal, though I couldn’t put my finger on why. Becka seemed to think it was the combination of having such a high-profile ‘situationship,’ but it felt like a bit of a cop out to put it down to that. I’d been feeling… restless.
Work had continued to stagnate. I hadn’t minded doing the grunt work at first, but now I’d finished everything Jeremy needed me to do. I think I’d outlasted my usefulness, and it was becoming increasingly clear that my employment had always been more of a favour for a family friend than a real opportunity. While I appreciated the work experience, the situation had started to feel awkward. I enjoyed my time with the different departments, but lately, there just hadn’t been much demand for an apprentice or helpful intern. It left me feeling useless. A feeling I did not enjoy.
It didn’t help that while I was stuck in this rut, Jihoon was off having the time of his life.
Japan was on the same time as South Korea, so I woke up to plenty of cute selfies. Photos of Jihoon eating a circular cake with a hole in the middle, kind of like a bundt cake, Jihoon posing in front of the view from his room, Jihoon buying a can of hot coffee from a vending machine, Jihoon posing in front of a red building with the SEGA logo on it.
I laughed at the one he’d sent where he was wearing a fluffy, yellow hat with a cutesy creature face on it. He was grinning so wide that his nose was scrunched, and he didn’t look like an idol − he just looked like a young guy having fun.
I was happy for him, but if I was honest with myself, I was jealous − jealous of the time he was having, and jealous that I wasn’t there to share it with him.
I didn’t know what to do with this snarl of negative emotions, it was starting to get exhausting.
Chapter 24
The awards show in Japan took place at around 1:00am Friday, LA time and it only took until Friday afternoon for the footage from the awards show to make its way onto streaming platforms, but I’d had to anxiously wade through the day at work first before I could watch it.
“I brought snacks!” Becka said proudly, dumping a string bag full of rustling wrappers onto the kitchen island.
“My hero,” I called, appreciatively, from my seat on the sofa as I tried to find the specific video of the show that had been captioned.
“Do we even know what the group has been nominated for?” Becka asked as she sat down next to me, putting a tray of assorted snacks onto the little coffee table in front of the sofa.
“No idea,” I admitted, “and the videos I found are strictly no spoilers.”
“Very considerate,” Becka nodded.
“Vibers,” I said, as if this was answer enough. “There were online voting options, but they were geo-locked, I couldn’t even see which categories GVibes were up for.”
