Page 55 of A World Apart
“We’d practice for so many hours that I hurt all the time,” he chuckled. “Every muscle was sore, all the time, there was never enough rest time. But you get used to it, so when I sometimes wasn’t in pain, I would train harder because I thought I had been lazy.”
“That’s insane,” I breathed.
He shook his head, but it wasn’t quite a disagreement. “It’s necessary.”
“Did you ever think about quitting?”
“No.” His immediate response surprised me, but then it didn’t, when I considered that the man sitting in front of me was considered to be one of the most talented idols in the industry right now.
“It was hard,” he admitted, “but it was…” he fumbled, his fingers waving in the air as if trying to snatch a word out of it.
“Purpose,” he settled on, meeting my gaze finally. “It was my purpose.”
I nodded. I could understand that. I wasn’t sure what mine was yet, but I understood the desire to fulfil it when a person does find it. He was lucky.
“I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up,” I joked.
“You don’t want to work in music?” he asked, sounding surprised.
“Yes. No. Maybe?” I laughed. “I don’t know anymore. I always thought I wanted to be a music producer. It’s what I studied at university. But now… I’m not sure if being behind the sound deck is what I want anymore.” I shrugged, trying to play it off, but the truth gnawed at me. After three years of certainty, studying toward that goal, realizing I might not want it anymore was… terrifying.
“I thought working at Pisces would be a fun sidestep into the career I’ve always wanted, but now I think maybe it’s shown me it wasn’t what I thought it was.”
Jihoon nodded thoughtfully. “You’ll find what you’re meant to do.”
“You think so?”
He held my gaze and smiled − a wide, confident smile, the kind of confidence I could only aspire to.
“Of course. You’re smart, you work hard, and you’re brave.”
“I’m brave?” I asked uncertainly.
“You moved across the world on just the idea that you might find your purpose. That’s brave.”
“So did you, and you were far younger.”
He waved his hand dismissively. “That’s how I know you’ll find what you’re meant to do. Where you’re meant to be.”
We fell into a comfortable silence, watching the waves make their steady climb up the beach as the sun began to bleed across the horizon.
“It’s getting dark,” he said, looking around as if suddenly becoming aware of the dusk that was rapidly falling, turning the clear blue sky to a softer shade of pink and orange.
“We should probably start heading back,” I said, but I didn’t make a move to stand. Jihoon nodded, holding my gaze. “We fly back in the morning,” he said, quietly.
“I know.”
Neither of us moved and neither of us dropped our gaze. I didn’t blink for so long that I began to feel tears threatening in the corners of my eyes. Even when I did blink, I could still feel them there, a constant reminder of how this evening would end.
“We should probably head back,” I said again.
Jihoon sighed, but rose to his feet with a fluid, effortless grace that I could only aspire to.
He looked down at me and held out his hands, his long, graceful fingers reaching towards me. I reached up to take them, gasping only slightly at the way my skin slid against his, cool at first, but then so warm. His firm grip enclosed mine, calluses grazing my skin, the contradictory feeling of softness and roughness making this moment somehow more real.
He pulled me up, and suddenly he seemed to tower over me, his eyes holding mine with such intensity that my fingers tightened around his.
Slowly, he drew me closer until our chests were almost touching, the air between us charged with an almost tangible feeling. The world around us faded, leaving only the gentle sound of waves lapping at the sand, the ocean’s rhythm the backdrop to whatever this was.
