Page 136 of A World Apart
I eventually told Becka about the conversation I’d had with Jeremy, where he confessed he hadn’t been able to find any places taking on technicians right now. “The industry strikes this year have made people nervous,” he’d explained.
I’d taken the news well on the surface, but inside, it made me feel sick. Sure, I’d been blasé about whether I even wanted to work in production, but having the option taken away entirely felt like a blow.
Since then, I’d been trying to flip the script in my head. If another technician role had come up, I could see how my life might have unfolded − predictable, unchanging, filled with unremarkable days I’d have to pretend to enjoy. At least this way, I didn’t have to lie to myself anymore.
This whole LA thing had been fun for a while. It had served its purpose − it was only ever supposed to be a year-long step out of real life. Somewhere along the way, though, I’d forgotten that and gotten lost in the monotony. I couldn’t let that happen again.
Leaving was the right choice. I think I needed to leave to figure out what I truly wanted.
Besides, staying in LA wasn’t an option anymore. It was time to start planning for what came next.
I would leave LA in the new year. I just had to decide if I was going to move back in with my folks up North for a while, or dive straight back into London life.
But as these plans had settled, it had made me more keenly aware of the time I had left here, doing this, living with Becka. That had been by far the hardest part of my decision.
After hours of deliberation, we’d both been exhausted and crying. It was horrible, but now that it was out there in the universe, we’d both made sure to squeeze all the enjoyment we could out of every day. We were rarely home on the weekends, always out looking for adventure, or mischief. She’d even talked me into hiking one weekend. An experience neither of us would be repeating again anytime soon.
November had been full for Jihoon as well; packed full of end-of-year variety shows, radio interviews and filming the last of the group’s lives, because they were all taking nearly an entire month off around the Christmas period.
But more than that, they’d also attended the MNET Asian Music awards in Japan. This particular awards show was like the Grammys of Asia. They’d won two Daesangs − the highest award you could win − for best music video for ‘Work Harder’ and Best Male Group. The whole online community had been abuzz for days.
I was so proud of him − of the whole group, really, they all worked so hard − they deserved the rest they were about to get.
Normally, they took the whole month of December off, but this year they had been invited to perform at the Jingle Bell Ball at the Staples centre in LA, along with a whole host of A-List performers. The concert was on December 6th, so the official holiday for the group didn’t start until they flew back to Korea on the 8th.
Jihoon was staying in the city one extra day though, because he had a meeting with Trevor Kyle at Pisces about the solo material he’d recorded earlier in the year, which was for a solo mixtape he was releasing next year. It had been pushed back so as not to coincide with the new album GVibes had released this year.
When he’d told me about his meeting with TK, I’d made a face. I hadn’t meant to, but it was an uncontrollable reaction. Jihoon had pressed because he’d said he knew I didn’t like him − no one did. He’d been worried he’d done something, and while TK was a loathsome toad and he had inappropriately touched me, I didn’t want Jihoon to get the impression something bigger, something more lawyer-worthy hadoccurred, so I’d told him how he’d made me feel, the way he’d run his finger over me like he’d had the right to.
I debated not telling him about the storage cave incident, but in the end I did, including Donna’s rescue.
Jihoon had been furious − so angry that I’d had to talk him down from flying over here and beating TK senseless − tempting as that was. But professionally, there wasn’t much he could do as he was under contract through his company to finish the project with him.
I’d had to calm him down by telling him I never even saw him these days. I avoided him when I knew he’d be in the building and I was never tasked with being in or around his studios, so whole weeks would pass without us crossing paths. That had helped, but I could tell he wasn’t going to let this go.
Now December had arrived and with it, a cooler air flowed through the city, a respite after the dry, hot air that had maintained it’s grip on LA for far longer than it had any right to.
“Does this look alright?” I turned this way and that, staring at myself in the mirror.
“For the ninth time, you look fine.” Becka rolled her eyes as she reclined on my bed, watching me pick an outfit for the concert tonight.
“You realise they’re not even going to know what seat you’re in, let alone actually be able to see you, right?”
Jihoon had been able to get me a ticket to attend the Jingle Bell Ball. He’d tried to get Becka one too, but he hadn’t been able to get more than one – the venue was fully booked.
“I know, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to look nice. Also, it’s a practical outfit, it’s gonna be hella hot in there.”
“True,” she tilted her head in agreement.
I’d settled on a pair of denim shorts, my Doc Martens and a black GVibes t-shirt. I felt cute, but practical.
“Don’t forget to take your water bottle with you.”
“Yes, Mother,” I tossed over my shoulder, earning me another eye roll.
“All righty then, I’m gonna head out; you just know the traffic is gonna be hell.”
“Don’t forget to get off at the stop we Google’d. It’ll be easier to get off the bus early and walk the rest of the way.” Becka said, following me out of my room and watching as I filled up my water bottle at the kitchen sink before putting it in my rucksack.
