Page 3 of Wild Card
I could guess the rest. His heart had raced, his palms had grown damp, his breathing too fast. He’d practiced one of his deep-breathing exercises not to lose his shit, but the energy cost had probably been steep, with a rise and drop of adrenaline that drained him.
“Okay, so when’s the last time you had a good touch?”
“There’s no such thing,” he grumbled.
“I thought you told me you wanted to get better,” I said. “Avoidance won’t get you there.”
His shoulders hunched up, and his head dropped. “I know.”
I hated seeing my strong, bossy brother this way. He’d made so much progress over the years. He couldn’t afford to let it slip away.
“I just want you to try, okay?” I said a little more gently.
“Point made,” he said, burying his face in Banshee’s fur.
“Can I touch your hair?”
There was a long beat of silence. I waited it out, knowing Holden had to take the time to envision the touch, prepare for it, and accept it before proceeding.
“Yeah,” he finally said. “That would be…good.”
I was sure he didn’t mean good as in enjoyable. It would be good for him, though.
I stroked his hair, keeping my touch light.
He shuddered and took a breath. “One more time.”
I combed my fingers through his hair as gently as I could. Holden kept his face buried in Banshee’s fur, hugging her close.She was comforting and a reassurance that the touch was okay. When he was young, when he was abused, he’d never had a pet. It helped anchor him to the now, but his nervous system still reacted involuntarily.
I pulled away, and he looked up at me, face a touch pale but otherwise steady.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” he rasped. “Go get fucked, and I’ll cuddle your dog.”
I smirked. “Sounds like a plan.”
Holden wasn’t always this averse to touch. He’d gone through a period where he could hug his family members. But when he came back from college, he was worse. I wasn’t sure if it was his experience there or the clusterfuck our family had become when he returned, but he’d lost a lot of ground.
But then, we all had.
I gave Banshee one last pat, then headed for the door. She watched me go, a small whine escaping, but Holden spoke quietly to her, stroking her ears, and she relaxed.
I slipped out with only a niggle of guilt. She’d have all the attention she wanted tonight.
I borrowed Gray’s bike since he wouldn’t be needing it at the football game and kick-started it. The engine growled to life, vibrating between my legs, and I leaned forward, rolling the throttle to take off.
The helmet kept my long hair from blowing in my face too badly, and I made it over to the furniture warehouse Ruby Myers’s dad owned in ten minutes flat. She’d given me the key when we hooked up last week, and I had no doubt she’d be looking for a repeat tonight.
She wouldn’t get it, though. I avoided entanglements. I fucked around, nothing more. No point in getting any feelings involved in a good time.
Jett was waiting, his features sharp like a shark. Kind of hot in an intenseI might fuck you or I might kill youkind of way. He was more wiry than built, but there was a coiled strength in him just waiting to strike.
“About time,” he muttered as I came to a stop and pulled off my helmet.
“Stop your bitchin’,” I said as I pulled out the key, brandishing it. “You bring the booze?”
“In my truck. Sully will be here to work the door.”
