Page 73 of Outcast
Holden pushed his chair back and started gathering dishes. “I’m glad you told us.” He flashed his wrist tattoo of the infinity sign. “Foster Bro Code. Wealwayshave one another’s backs. No matter what.”
I rubbed my thumb over the blank spot on my inner wrist, a sense of loss washing over me. I wished I could have gotten the tattoo alongside them.
But the ink on my brother’s wrists was testament to my failure. They’d solidified their bond without me.
“Thanks, guys,” Bailey said when Axel released him. “Especially you, Gray.”
Surprise flared. “Me?”
Axel shot me an aggrieved look but kept feeding scraps off his plate to Sugar and Taz without commenting.
“Thanks for coming out to us the other night. I couldn’t have done it if I didn’t see you do it first.”
“No problem, kid. I’ve had some practice with it by now.”
He nodded. “I also, uh, want to say I’m really sorry for how our dad treated you when he found out. It hurts to know he’d have treated me that way, too.”
“He’s an asshole,” Axel growled. “You shouldn’t care what the old man would think.”
“I know that,” Bailey said sharply. “But you don’t know what it’s like.”
“I know he doesn’t deserve a second thought from any of us.”
“Axel,” Holden said. “Come help me with the dishes.”
“But—”
“Now,” he said.
With a huff of annoyance, Axel stood and grabbed his plate, carrying it to the sink. His dogs trailed him, hopeful for a few more treats.
When we were alone at the table, Bailey slumped in his chair. “He doesn’t get it.”
“I know,” I said. “I’m sorry you know how the old man reacted. Maybe it would have been different with you, though. A lot of years went by.”
He shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. But…is it wrong if I say I’m kind of glad you left without telling us why? I know Axel was really hurt. But if I’d known, it would have been so much worse.”
“I get that,” I said, “and I’m glad my leaving served someone. I hate that I hurt you guys. I thought I was doing the right thing, but at the end of the day, I haven’t been here. I got abandoned by my parents, you know? I never thought I’d be the one doing the abandoning.”
“You weren’t,” Bailey said. “He made you go.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
Didn’t stop the guilt and regret, though.
Bailey held up his wrist, tapping the tattoo there. “You’re still part of this, you know? I saw your expression when Holden brought it up. You should get the tattoo. Because you never broke the pact, not really. When you left, you saved me from seeing Dad’s hate. From hating myself. You know?”
My throat went tight. Bailey was giving me a hell of a lot of credit. I didn’t know that he was gay when I left. I’d wanted to save my brothers from being pulled into the mess, yes, but I’d also been afraid of what they’d think of me. Afraid they’d think like our old man.
And that had been a major failing on my part. I should have trusted in them the way they’d trusted in me.
I wanted the tattoo they all wore, wanted it badly. But I wouldn’t get it. Not when I hadn’t earned it.
CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
Emory
“Hey, you made it!”Marty saluted me with his beer bottle when I came through the door of the Fieldhouse. “Get over here and save me! I’m shit at darts.”
