Page 33 of Knockin' Boats
“This is a good thing.”
I blew a raspberry at her because there wasno waythis was a good thing. Sawyer was more likely to throw me into the lake than rescue me from a fall the next time he saw me.
“Seriously,” Mel insisted. “You needed to clear the air, and while I meanttalking with words,you definitely sent Sawyer a message.”
“That I’m unhinged?”
“That you’reinterested.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m not. I just wanted to make peace, that’s all. And he thought I was still fucking you.”
“You could have just told him you weren’t.”
“He didn’t believe me!”
She giggled. “Well, I guess he might believe you now. But he might also believe you want to fuckhim.”
I set my wine aside and raised a pillow to my face to scream into it.
“Oh, stop being a drama llama,” Mel said. “Youdowant to fuck him, and we both know it.”
I lowered the pillow. “Fuck off.”
“Come on, Ash. You’ve loved Sawyer your whole life. You know we got involved mainly because you missed him. It was a fucked up way to be closer to him.”
“Because he was my best friend.”
Mel leaned forward. “Your best friend who youloved.”
I picked up my glass and drained it. I didn’t have a good reply. Mel wasn’t wrong. I’d loved Sawyer like a brother once. But I didn’t—Icouldn’t—want more than that.
Even if I was open to the possibility of being with a guy, it couldn’t behim. There was too much damn water under the bridge.
Still, the kiss had been good.
Sawyer’s mouth had been so soft, even as I’d caught him by surprise. He’d curled one hand around my biceps, but he’d never once tried to push me away. The kiss hadn’t lasted long. Maybe he just hadn’t had time to process and shove me away before we bumped into the dock.
But if we hadn’t been interrupted, would he have pulled me closer? Opened his mouth to let me inside?
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
I couldn’t be thinking like this.
If we hadn’t been interrupted, Sawyer probably would have pushed me away and punched me right in my stupid face.
“Want another glass of wine?” Mel asked.
I did. I really did. But I had a lot of work to do tomorrow.
“Nah. I’ve got to do a shit-ton of prep work since it’s the last day before I launch the food boat. I don’t think a hangover mixes well with sharp knives.”
She chuckled. “You need a ride over there again?”
“I’ll take Rick’s boat. I’m going to be working pretty late and I don’t want to be stranded.”
My stepdad would probably be pissed that I’d taken the boat for the whole day. He’d been giving me a hard time ever since I quit the DreamBoats. But I had no fucks to give.
“Maybe Sawyer could give you another ride,” Mel said, then wiggled her eyebrows. “Maybe even abetterride.”
