Page 26 of Knockin' Boats
That snapped Sawyer out of our staring contest. He glanced toward Hudson. “Sorry. Yeah. I can take him.”
“Try not to kill each other,” Hudson ordered before stalking off.
I hesitated to board. “I can call someone to come get me.”
“Don’t tempt me,” he said. “Just get your ass up here so I can do what the boss ordered.”
If Sawyer hadn’t stopped me from taking a header into the lake earlier, I might have thought twice. I would have said he’d toss me overboard and happily watch me drown, but…hehadsaved my ass. So maybe there was a chance we could repair the rift between us.
Maybe Mel was right, and we needed to talk—even if it sounded about as appealing as pulling out my teeth with pliers.
So I stepped aboard with a smile. “Thanks, Sawyer.”
He turned to the steering wheel without a word. Yeah, we were off to a good start.
Talk to him, Ash. Use your big-boy words.
The thought that flitted through my mind had Mel’s voice. Ugh. I huffed a breath and made my way toward the bow.
Sawyer hit the throttle as he came out of dock, the boat jerked forward, and I lurched sideways. Only years of boating kept me on my feet. I grabbed Sawyer’s shoulder and braced my legs, leaning in close to him.
Closer than I intended.
The cedar-pine scent of him flooded my nose. His shoulder was hard and muscular beneath my hand, and a prickling heat tingled up my arm.
“Are you going to hang on me the whole fucking trip?” he called over the wind rushing in our ears as he picked up speed.
Can I?
I retracted my hand quickly, thrown by the thought, and dropped into the co-captain’s seat.
“I want to say something to you.”
“I don’t want to hear it,” he replied.
“Too bad.” I grinned at him, watching his nostrils flare with irritation. “Ineedto say this, Sawyer.”
He didn’t answer. He kept his gaze forward, fixed on the water as if took all his focus. But there wasn’t enough traffic out for that. Soon, there might be, but not tonight.
That was okay. The words might come easier without him looking at me.
“You were the best friend I ever had.”
He whipped his head toward me. Opened his mouth, then shut it again. He looked pained. “Don’t do this.”
“I have to,” I said. “I need you to know that I hate this.” I waved a hand between us. “I never wanted this, Saw. I wanted…”
His friendship. Just that. Right?
“We don’t need to rehash it,” Sawyer said shortly, turning his eyes forward. “Where do you want me to drop you?”
“My house has a private dock just east of the marina.”
Sawyer steered the boat to veer right. I had only a limited time to find the right words. For several minutes, they eluded me. I almost dropped it. Sawyer hadn’t been ready to talk it out ten years ago, and it seemed he wasn’t ready now.
But there was one thing I needed. For myself, if not for him.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “That’s all I want to say. I’m so damn sorry, Sawyer, for the way I hurt you. For how our friendship ended. For this bitter twisted thing it’s become. I’m sorry.”
