Page 3 of Sexted By Santa
“There’s a difference between alone and lonely.”
He crossed his arms, less tentative now. “Don’t bullshit me. You aren’t alone because you enjoy it. You haven’t found the right guy.”
“Fynn—”
“Was not the right guy,” he interrupted.
“I know.” I grabbed my keys and wallet from the top drawer of my desk, where I kept them while working. “But Fynn was all consuming, you know? Maybe I need some recovery time.”
“Three years isn’t enough?”
I shrugged. Part of me knew it was time to get out there and date again, but I’d been in a rocky, drama-filled marriage for three years. And even before that, I’d lived through a string of tumultuous, ill-fated relationships. I was attracted to all the wrong men. Men who were attractive—Fynn was as beautiful as a work of art—but not compatible with me in the slightest.
Or maybe I was the incompatible one. Fynn had complained I was unyielding when I made up my mind about something. I’d always thought he was being unreasonable in those circumstances—but maybe there was a dash of truth to it. I was confident, but sometimes that confidence came with some unintentional stubbornness.
“Teresa says that Zayden is a really nice guy,” Barry said.
I cringed. “Zayden?”
Save me from some parents’ idea of a creative name.I’d cursed my own for Christian Kringle, but at least they hadn’t chosenZayden. “Sounds like one of my students’ names. How old is this kid?”
“He’s twenty-three, but—”
“Jesus Christ,twenty-three? No. Absolutely not.”
“He’s not a student,” Barry clarified.
“Oh, wonderful. At least when I’m dating achild, it won’t be one I have authority over.”
Barry huffed. “Settle down. He’s a grown man.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, well, forgive me if I disagree. Tell Teresa thanks, but no thanks. I don’t date men younger than thirty-five.”
Fynn had been twenty-eight when we met and look how that had turned out. He’d been immature, self-centered, impulsive. At first, I’d merely thought him spontaneous, which had seemed exciting when we were in the early phase of our relationship and his nature made for adventurous dates. I still had my day-to-day routine and seeing Fynn was this refreshing dose of fun on my days off. But after we got married, things began to change. Fynn’s spontaneity was no longer contained to one or two days a week, but relentless. I realized too late that there was a difference between spontaneity and chaos, between living in the moment and living without purpose.
Over time, Fynn became less satisfied and more determined in his pursuit of the next thrill. It was unsettling to never know what to expect when I came home: a dinner party I knew nothing about; a demand to go out to a nightclub, where Fynn would want to dance until 2 a.m. on a worknight; a “surprise” weekend getaway that I was obligated to happily indulge.
He’d been too young, too set on finding his next adventure. I’d never been enough to satisfy him, no matter how hard I tried. I didn’t like roller coasters, and I wasn’t going to set myself up for another tumultuous ride with a younger man.
“You don’t date at all,” Barry argued. “And don’t think I didn’t hear you tell Ella you were seeing someone when she suggested introducing you to her brother. What will she think if you don’t have a date to the department’s holiday party?”
I groaned at the reminder. Yes, I’dliedto the head of our department—my boss. Probably not my smartest move. But going on a date with her brother, and potentially sending him back to her with horror stories of how awful I was? Even worse.
I had tenure, so she couldn’t easilyfireme—but she could make my life miserable.
Barry pressed his advantage. “Just come meet Zayden. You can take him to the party.”
I scowled. “No.”
It was the principle of the matter at this point. I could let Barry and Teresa set me up again, but it would only encourage them to continue this nonsense.
“I can find my own date. Someone older, more mature, with a name like…William or Jonathan.”
Barry snorted. “Or Nicholas? Then you can really have fun with the Santa names.”
I glowered. “You’re pushing it today.”
He smiled, finally relenting. “All right. I’ll tell Teresa you already have a date for the party. But you better find someone. You can’t just lie to Ella and expect her to be okay with that.”
