Page 67 of Sexted By Santa
I wish it were that simple, but Jaxson spoke at length about why his earlier relationships had failed. In every case, it had something to do with his daughter and his limited availability to be the kind of boyfriend his exes wanted.
“I just don’t want to be pushy or insensitive.”
“Oh, sweetie, you’re already being sensitive. Just accepting he has to put his daughter first is huge. If you’re understanding when he can’t make time for you, then that’s good enough. But don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. This is your relationship too.”
Right. That was a good point. After all my talk to Jaxson about wanting a balanced relationship, one with better communication, I’d hesitated to reach out, fearing I’d say or do the wrong thing. This healthy relationship stuff wasn’t easy.
After such an intimate night, my whole being was crying out to connect with him. To just be in his presence. If that wasn’t possible, I’d love to call him and just hear his voice. Messaging was my last resort—it was too much like what we’d had before and felt like a step backward—but I’d take that over no contact.
But was I beingtooneedy? I could wait a day, or two, or even a week. I was a grown, fully functional adult who didn’t need a boyfriend to hold his hand or cuddle on the couch every night. Although, I had to admit, Jaxson would be an amazing cuddle. That broad chest I could rest my head against. Those strong arms that could wrap around me.
I sighed wistfully.
“I’d love to see him, but I know Jaxson has a lot going on in his life. I don’t want to bog him down with another responsibility.” I frowned. “Maybe weshouldhave kept things casual for his sake. So that he could see me when he wanted, without feeling any more strain.”
Teresa chuckled. “I don’t think you could have done casual. You’re gone over the man already. I’ve never heard you talk about anyone like this. Not even Fynn, and you married him.”
“I loved Fynn,” I protested.
At least, I thought I’d loved him. In the beginning, he was witty and charming, and I felt lucky to have such a gorgeous, amazing man choose to be with me. Perhaps I put too much stock in his outer beauty and not enough in his inner motivations. But Ihadloved him.
“I didn’t mean to say that you didn’t,” Teresa said hurriedly. “But youlikeJaxson.”
Huh. Maybe that was the difference. With Fynn, I’d been smitten right away. We’d slept together the day we’d met. I’d known I desired Fynn, but I’d never stopped to think about whether I liked him as a person.
“Maybe you’re right,” I allowed. “But I still don’t know how to proceed.”
“Well, only you and Jaxson can decide that. If you don’t want to overstep, then talk to him about it. Get on the same page, and you’ll feel a lot more sure of your footing.”
“Yeah.” I drew a breath. “I want to be on the same page. It’s just scary to open a new chapter, I guess. I don’t quite know what to expect yet.”
“I understand, but if this is a balanced relationship, then you both need to feel free to ask for what you want.”
“You’re right.”
“Of course, I am,” she said in a teasing tone. “Now, go talk to your man about when you two can see one another again. It’ll be a nice ego boost for him to know you want to spend time with him. Maybe you can even do something nice to give him a break, hmm? Being a single parent is a lot of work.”
“Yeah.” That was a thought. Jaxson was always taking care of people. His daughter, his patients at work. He even talked about wanting to care for me.
But who took care of him?
“Thank you, Teresa,” I said. “You’ve really helped me see things more clearly.”
“Good,” she said. “I’m happy for you.”
After we hung up, I finally returned Jaxson’s message.
I’d love to talk…or anything else you might have in mind. I’ve been missing you all day.
When I got his response, I knew Teresa was right. Everything was going to work out. Because this thing between us—though so intense it scared me at times—felt incredibly right. And Jaxson didn’t shy away from my message, he engaged with it.
The feeling is mutual,he replied.Would have loved to spend all day in bed with you.
18
JAXSON
I was worn out by the time we finished shopping, the car loaded with bags from the mall and grocery store. Shirley sat beside me in the passenger seat, looking just as tired, as I pulled into her driveway to let her out. Walking through the mall had taken a toll on her and made me realize her energy level wasn’t what I thought it was. Now, I worried about how much I’d leaned on her for help with Tori.
