Page 71 of Tapped By My Roommate
“Shoot, I’ve got class soon though,” Ethan said, seemingly oblivious to her—which was a relief. I might not be hooking up with Ethan anymore, thanks to those rules I’d let him set, but I wasn’t ready to watch him move on to our neighbor. “Do you have time in your schedule? I know you’ve been going…out in the afternoons.”
Damn. I did have the tutoring sessions I’d just started, and I still needed to get Audrey her next driving lesson. We’d only been out twice, and she was begging me to make more time for her. Soccer wasn’t even on my radar with everything else going on.
“Yeah, um, I do have some…things to do today.” I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want to tell him about the tutoring. Ethan was so good at school, and needing extra help made me feel inadequate.
His face fell at my words. I couldn’t take his disappointment. My chest tightened at the very idea of letting him down. I hurried to say, “Maybe lunch hour?”
He brightened. “That could work. Meet back here? I’ll make you a sandwich.”
I grinned, feeling lighter already. “Well, I can’t turn that down.”
“Great.” Ethan packed up his laptop while I sipped my now cold coffee, watching him. He was wearing a snug green T-shirt with bright red suspenders. I missed the bowtie—that would always be my favorite look on Ethan—but this was cute and casual. I could see why he might prefer it for running to class.
When he turned toward me, I read the text on the tee:My lizard is bigger than yours.
I nearly spat out my coffee as the memory of us on the futon together, giggling over wildlife sex facts and me liking Ethan’s lizard, hit hard. Thankfully, he didn’t notice my expression.
“See you later,” he called as he went out the door.
Linh was another matter. I had forgotten she was still in the apartment. She usually went back to her place when I got up, but today she’d lingered.
“You two seem friendly.”
I headed for the coffee pot, with her trailing me. “We’re roommates. Shouldn’t we be friendly?”
“No, it’s good,” she said. “Surprising. Considering you were having sex before, and now you’re not. Most people can’t do that without emotional fallout.”
“He told you?”
A flash of hurt went through me. Maybe we’d had an “arrangement” and “rules” and “boundaries” that kept us from having a real relationship, but the times I’d been with Ethan had felt special and private. I didn’t like the idea that he didn’t feel the same, that they were just experiments for him to share with Linh.
“He didn’t have to tell me.”
I relaxed a fraction. At least Ethan hadn’t been gossiping about us to her. That was something.
“I saw the notebook, remember?” she said. “I was there when he wrote up those rules and that checklist. But also…” She shrugged. “You guys were kinda loud, and now you’re not. Plus, the weird tension. Doesn’t take a scientist.”
“Why are we talking about this?”
“Because you like one another,” she said. “And Ethan seems sad.”
“He does?” My pulse quickened. “But he made those rules. And I suggested he could maybe add more items to the list, but…he didn’t. He agreed to call it quits.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know about all that. I just know that he’s not as happy as he was. Maybe suggest some new rules?”
I grimaced. “Rules are the whole problem. Ethan and his lists. He places limits on everything. How can I…”
“What?” she asked as I trailed off.
I shook my head. I didn’t want to put it into words, not for Linh. But the thought was there anyway. How can I push my own limits when I’m afraid of crossing lines?I’d never had a serious relationship, not as an adult anyway, and I thought I might want one with Ethan. But I couldn’t seem to get past the feeling that I couldn’t confine my feelings for someone to a set of guidelines. The way I had felt when the sex stopped with Ethan was proof of that. I was still floundering, feeling off-balance and confused. I missed him, and he was right here every day.
“Rhett, can I say something?”
I shrugged. It wasn’t like Linh to hold anything back. “You seem to consider yourself the expert on Ethan, so whatever,” I grumbled.
She ignored my tone. “You shouldn’t think of Ethan’s lists as limits. They’re safety nets.”
“What do you mean?”
