Page 98 of Matched By My Rival
“I’ll get there. I promise.”
“But that’s not what I meant. I want you to tell me again how youfeel.About me.”
“Oh. Uh…”
“Three words. First word starts with I—”
“I love you, smartass. I love you, okay? I don’t care who knows it. I want to be with you. Be a real boyfriend. If football isn’t going to be your future, then I want to be. I really fucking do, and I haven’t worked out all the details of how to make that happen yet, what with me graduating and you with another year, but—”
“Simon,” he cut in sharply.
I realized I was babbling. I never babbled. But this was a big moment, my heart was racing, and I knew that if I didn’t put my feelings into the right words, I could lose everything.
Not football. Not a game. But Parker. A real, living person. The person I wanted in my life more than any other.
“Yeah?”
“Shut up,” he said, grinning.
Then he kissed me.
In front of his mom, a random assortment of fans, and half the football team.
When he broke the kiss, I said softly, “The world is still turning.”
“Only because you’re here for me.”
“It was the only way to keep it turning,” I agreed solemnly. “Otherwise, destruction for all of mankind.”
26
PARKER
Simon walked me back to my dorm room. This time, it didn’t matter who saw us enter or leave—and I planned to keep him close all night.
He held my hand as we walked. “Everything okay with your mom?”
“Yeah, she wanted to say good-bye. My parents are leaving early in the morning, and she didn’t react all that great when I told her I wanted to leave the team.”
“Is it official then? You talk to Coach?”
“We talked. He wants me to play next season. Promised he’d handle any fallout related to me dating a guy.”
“Do you want to do that?”
“I don’t know. I feel guilty for wanting to leave. What if it hurts the team’s prospects? But I want to focus on my future, and I don’t want to get in the way of younger players who want opportunities. But if I stay, the team would have to accept my sexual orientation. Maybe that’d make it easier for someone else to come out, you know? I know there have been queer players at other colleges, but Hayworth hasn’t had that yet.”
Simon nodded. “There’s no wrong answer. Only what’s right for you. Whatever you decide, it’ll be okay, Parker.”
I squeezed his hand in thanks. “I noticed Double D talked to you while I was with my mom?”
“Yeah. He just said that we were still cool, and that when he told me to stop hitting you, he hadn’t meant to start hittingonyou.”
I laughed. “That sounds like D.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy,” Simon said. “Some of the other players, I don’t know. They were keeping their distance, but I could feel them watching, feel thewhat-the-fuckin their stares, you know?”
“I know. You didn’t have to do all this. Come to the game, make the public gesture. Last night, I was just thinking about what I wanted. I should have considered whether you were ready to be out. I’m sorry.”
