Page 31 of Matched By My Rival
I feared that, unlike Chelsea, who seemed happy to adapt to her changing situation, I might be lost in a fugue of disappointment for the rest of my life.
Thankfully, my phone chimed, distracting me from my dark thoughts.
This is one of those days I’d like to call in sick to life.
Despite everything, I grinned to see the message from HotPan. How was it that even as virtual strangers who’d never met face-to-face, we always seemed to be on the same page?
That bad, huh?
HotPan22:Worse
BiCuriousStud:Maybe I’ll play hooky with you. I’ve had a crappy morning, and I’m not looking forward to the rest of my day
HotPan22:You too, huh? Maybe we could hide out together...
My heart lurched. I liked him—a lot—and the tentative sexting we’d begun had been great too. But taking it offline added a whole new layer of pressure. What if it ruined the magic? We had a great thing going. Then again, what ifnotmeeting him cost me everything? He might grow tired of waiting.
He’d been a patient guy, but everyone had their limit.
I can’t today,I told him, not quite ready to promise anything. More of that expectations crap.
Yeah, me too.
You’re stuck doing a favor for a friend that sucks donkey balls?
*snort* More like I’m trying to do myself a favor. Get to a better place with someone.
There’s that people pleasing again.
HotPan22:Guilty…maybe we can meet up some other time? Even if it’s just as friends?
I hesitated. There was really only one answer I could give.
HotPan had become my confidante, willing to listen anytime I wanted to vent about my day. He shared little jokes and memes that made me laugh.
If I were going to explore this side of me, get to know a man intimately, this guy was the right choice.
Yeah,I typed.Sometime soon.
Awesome. You just made my day.
I puffed up, chest swelling at the thought of making him happy. Maybe there was something to this people-pleasing crap.
Don’t take too much grief from whoever you’re trying to make nice with,I tapped out.You deserve better than that.
Thanks. You’re a good guy too.
I wasn’t so sure about that, but it was good to know I’d convinced someone. Maybe if HotPan believed it, and my family believed it, eventually I’d be able to live up to their expectations.
10
PARKER
The sun was so bright in the sky the following Saturday that I had to squint when I approached Simon. He’d given me the silent treatment the past two weeks, but I didn’t see Cooper anywhere.
“Where is everyone?” I asked.
Simon was always stoic, but with the sunglasses on his face I really couldn’t read his expression. He shifted on his feet. Nervous? Impatient?
