Page 63 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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around my left wrist,

a gift from Mum

that’s supposed to protect me.

Whispers and gossip make me feel paranoid

about The Boys,

and the sincerity of their friendship with me.

Matt’s been quiet all lunchtime,

and he seems to be fading into the background

as I take center stage in this group.

Matt is sitting beside a quiet Kojo,

who’s kept his distance from me

ever since I came out last week.

Kojo hasn’t said anything homophobic.

It’s not anything the others would notice,

but he makes minimal eye contact with me,

he doesn’t speak to me directly,

and he sits as far away from me as possible

without actually leaving our lunch table.

I Can if You Help Me—In the Park—After School

“Those monkey bars are too high,”

I tell Olivia

as she climbs the ladder to them.

“I want to try,” she replies.

“I don’t think you’ll be able

to hold on,” I warn.

I imagine her losing hold

of the monkey bars.

Falling and landing

with a thud. A flood of tears.

I imagine carrying

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