Page 52 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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“You make a lot of excuses for Matt.

I’m starting to think

you really are in love with him.”

I wanna tell Vass

I have a crush on Matt, but

I don’t plan to act on it

while Matt’s in the closet.

I don’t tell Vass any of this.

I feel myself get hot with anger.

“Why can’t you be happy

for me coming out?” I ask.

“Nothing’s good enough for you.

You roll your eyes at your mum

when she brings you hot chocolate.

You know, you haven’t even

congratulated me for coming out.

You pick everything apart

until it seems like a bad thing.”

It sounds like my devil speaking.

I know my final statement

applies to me more than Vass.

I know I should take it back.

We don’t look at each other.

Vass sips their hot chocolate,

and I gulp mine, swallowing

a mouthful of rainbow sprinkles.

Saturday: The New Boy—Bouldering

“Hot new boy alert,” Matt whispers in my ear

as our bouldering youth squad gathers

in a circle on the crash mats

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