Page 43 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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“That’s your takeaway from today?”

asks Matt, without waiting for my answer.

“Wouldn’t you agree

mixed-race people are treated differently?”

“Yes, we’re treated differently,” I say,

“but I felt like today might’ve been

about something other than skin color.”

“What was today about, then?”

“Remember when you said

you were ninety-nine percent sure I was gay,

even before I told you?”

“What’s that gotta do with this?”

Matt doesn’t look at me as he asks.

“I had no idea you were gay

until you told me,

but I think people can see it

when they look at me.

I think it’s in the way I walk,

how I talk, my whole vibe.

It’s not something I can hide.”

“What you trying to say?”

“Just that I’m camp, aren’t I?

I think that’s another reason

I stand out from you and The Boys.”

“So, you think the police thought

we were bullying you for being gay?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.

I think Nathan thought it was about

me being mixed race

because of his experience with his brother.

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