Page 28 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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Kwesi is Nathan’s right-hand man.

The rest of The Boys,

Kojo, Abdi, and Sam, are TV canned laughter

played on Nathan’s cue.

They reach across their lunch table

or around each other to fist-bump Matt

or pat him on the back.

Matt smiles with fake modesty,

loving this attention.

He said he got no air with them,

but they’re really gassing him up.

This is the right kind of attention,

I imagine Matt thinking.

I can’t tell if Matt’s brought me

to sit with them

to quell the speculation

about our sexuality

or to show off

his newfound popularity.

We’ve never sat with

Nathan and The Boys

at lunch before today.

None of them have ever

spoken to me outside class.

I’ve kept out of their way,

and they’ve let me be.

Matt’s summer of boxing

has changed everything.

They seem to respect him,

and so, I guess they have to

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