Page 191 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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especiallyNoughts & Crosses.

I’m not cross with Matt.

If anything, I’m impressed

he took an interest

in an author I love.

Is that what happened?

Or did his parents force him to go?

Before I have a chance to ask him,

Matt says: “I’m proud of you, Kai.

You’re gonna be an author

and one day you’ll have published

over seventy books like Malorie Blackman

and there’ll be an exhibition all about you.”

“Yeah, one day,” I say hopefully.

I imagine seventy books.

My name on their spines.

I imagine an exhibition.

My sky-blue notebook.

Books that inspire me.

Skelligby David Almond.

Noughts & Crossesby Malorie.

What a goal to aim for.

What a future to hope for.

I feel tearful, in the best possible way.

Matt sees a bright future ahead of me.

All of a sudden,

I’m in the past again

with no control

of my overthinking.

“What’s wrong, Kai?”

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