Page 182 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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“I’m sorry I lied to you.

I am gay,” Matt says.

He smiles at me before continuing:

“I don’t want my parents to find out,

so I’ve been trying to keep it quiet.”

Quiet is an understatement.

Matt lied to The Boys and Jyoti to keep it secret.

He wasn’t ready, my angel reminds me.

“You know what that means?” asks Abdi.

“No, what does it mean?” asks Matt.

“This group is one-third gay,” says Abdi.

“That’s way above the national average,”

he adds innocently.

The Boys burst into laughter.

I laugh through the pain

of my elbow in its sling.

Even after all

The Boys and I have been through

at lunchtimes

and after school,

the police, the detentions,

me and Matt coming out,

and Nicky Anderson’s house party,

it still feels surreal

to be a part of this group,

and even stranger

to realize Abdi

isn’t counting Kojo.

It seems Kojo is no longer one of The Boys

because of his homophobic comment.

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