Page 19 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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from drama class before summer?

If there’s a gun early in a story,

it has to be used later.

So, now you know how to box

you’ll be forced to use

your new muscles and skills

to punch someone.”

Matt shakes his head at me:

“You think ‘all the world’s a stage’ or whatever.

I don’t think real life follows the rules of theater

or the rules of books and films either.

You read and watch so many stories

that you’ve forgotten about real life.

Real life is messy, it doesn’t always make sense.

Real life isn’t a story with symmetry

and a satisfactory ending.”

“Then why do you let the Bible dictate your life?

Isn’t the Bible a bunch of stories?”

“The Bible doesn’t dictate my life, Kai.

What dictates my life is the fact

that my parents are homophobic,

and I wanna keep a roof over my head.

I just wanna do my homework

and study for my exams,

so I can go to a faraway university.

This isn’t self-denial.

It’s self-preservation.

I know who I am, I know I’m gay,

but I know my parents.

Maybe I’ll come out at university.

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