Page 172 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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right over my heart

and the “Y” of “OBEY.”

Why Obi?

Because I didn’t think

Matt liked me back.

We stare at each other.

We both breathe heavily.

When I venture a smile,

Matt smiles back at me.

I can feel what Matt wants to say

because I wanna say it, too.

I want Matt

to say it first.

I need Matt

to say it first.

Matt gulps

and swallows before

he speaks,

like he’s had

a mouthful

of rainbow sprinkles.

“Remember when we were watching

Nicky Anderson and her girlfriend?”

“Yes, of course I remember,” I say.

“Do you remember what I said?” Matt asks me.

“‘I want that one day,’” I answer.

“That’s right,” Matt says, “and then you said,

‘I want that, too,’ didn’t you?”

“Something like that,” I say casually,

even though my heart is racing.

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