Page 155 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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“Who’s this?” Obi points to a poster

of Vass’s favorite drag performer.

“That’s The Black Flamingo,”

Vass says, then smiles at me.

“They’re amazing!” I tell Obi.

“They’re the same mix as me.”

Obi steps closer to the poster

of The Black Flamingo standing on one leg

with the other leg kicked back behind them.

They wear black high heels,

a black tutu, and a black feathered top;

they have cropped hair,

and a bright white smile

between bright red lips.

“So, they’re Greek Cypriot and Jamaican, too?

I’d never heard of that mix before I met you.”

Vass turns to me and says,

“Oh my! Kai! You’re such an uncut gem.”

I repeat the viral phrase “Uncut jaaaahms”

several times, in my best Julia Fox impression.

“You’re such a Julia!” Vass points at me.

“No, you are!” I reply to them.

Both of us burst into hysterics,

but Obi doesn’t get it.

Even though I’m grateful Obi has come to see me,

I already feel ready for him to leave.

I hold the flowers out to Vass.

“Will you put these in water, please?”

“Certainly, sir, much obliged,”

they say, like a servant again,

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