Page 77 of I Can't Even Think Straight

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KAI:So, you’re okay with it?

MATT:Of course! So, where’s the posh boy taking you?

KAI:I’m taking him to a place I’ve been to before with my mum.

He’s vegan.

So, I thought I’d start with a vegan place for our first date.

Before I reveal that I’m actually a massive carnivore.

MATT:Do you think that’ll be a deal-breaker?

KAI:I hope not.

MATT:THIS IS SO EXCITING! YOU ONLY JUST CAME OUT LAST WEEK AND NOW YOU’RE GOING ON YOUR FIRST DATE!

KAI:I KNOW!!!

WHAT IS LIFE

The Following Saturday: A Saucy First Date

“Don’t worry! It’s all vegan,”

I reassure Obi as he studies the menu

with a frown of concentration.

“When my mum first brought me here

and I saw names like chick’n and f’sh,

I thought it was real chicken and fish.”

“I know it’s vegan,” says Obi.

“I was looking for something

that isn’t a meat substitute.

I didn’t become vegan to eat fake meat.”

“We can go somewhere else if you’d like?”

“No, I’m sorry. It’s all right,” he says.

“I’m not really that hungry anyway.

I’ll just get some sweet potato fries.”

“You sure? The chick’n burger is decent,

especially with the buffalo sauce,

and the f’sh and chips are my favorite,

especially with the tartar sauce.”

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