Page 20 of I Can't Even Think Straight
We’ll have to wait and see
how mystoryunfolds.”
I hate the sarcastic way Matt says “story”:
it’s like he’s mocking
everything he knows about me.
“That’s all well and good for you
but what about me?”
“I’ve already said
you can come out if you want,
but just keep me out of it.
And if anyone asks if I’m gay, too,
please tell them I’m not.
I’ll get a girlfriend if I have to.”
I’m surprised by the lengths
Matt seems willing to go to
to conceal his sexuality.
He’d disobey his parents in one way
in order not to disappoint them in another.
It seems extreme to me,
but I’ve not lived in his house,
I’ve only been a guest.
I went to Matt’s church once,
the pastor seemed friendly,
but Matt didn’t invite me back.
It doesn’t bother me anyway,
because now I work Sundays
on Mum’s market stall.
“You wouldn’t really
get a girlfriend?” I venture.
“You know your parents
