Page 70 of Rules for Rule Breaking
Bobby didn’t know what she was talking about. She not only knew exactly what she wanted to do; she knew exactly how she wanted to get there. She didn’t care about all the background noise—friends, girlfriends, and family drama.
“What do you mean?” he asked. “You’re the most driven person I know.”
She turned back around and faced away from him. “School isn’t as easy for me as you think it is. I try a lot harder than you know. Everything else is even harder.”
“Everything else?”
“You know. Everything else.” She still didn’t look back.
“Are you talking about dating?”
Winter sighed. “Friends too. I’ve never said this out loud before, but I feel like if Emmy didn’t live so far away, we wouldn’t still be friends. Am I a bad person? My mother told me I keep everyone at a distance, but I don’t know why I’m like this.”
Bobby reached out to put his hand on her shoulder, but he changed his mind at the last second. “I didn’t know you cared about stuff like this. I thought you were above it.”
“I’m a sixteen-year-old girl and a human. How could I not? Emmy has a catalog of potential boyfriends, and even you—” She stopped short. “I’m sorry. Old habits.”
“It’s okay. But you’re smart, and you’re ambitious. I’m sure you could date whoever you want.”
“People say they like smart girls, but they don’t. Ask Jacqueline.”
That was true. Jacqueline didn’t have many friends because she wasn’t afraid to let people know she was the smartest person in the room.
“Well, you’re funny too. That has to count for something,” Bobby said.
“Everyone likes a funny girl, but no one wants to date one.” Winter twirled her braid with her finger. “I think this is the alcohol talking because I would usually never say any of this, but I haven’t even had a real kiss yet. Like, one that I actually wanted.”
Bobby wracked his brain for something supportive to say, but nothing immediately came to mind. He was yelling at himself internally to think of something, anything at all. Did she tell him that because she wanted him to kiss her? He went for the shoulder again and followed through this time. Winter put her hand over his. He completely froze. He was worried that if he moved even a centimeter, she’d take her hand away.
“What changed?” he asked. “Why do you care now?”
“I feel like I lost Emmy, and I’ve been blaming the distance and her life choices, but I think it might be me.”
Bobby snorted. “This sounds like serious imposter syndrome. Who cares if all the stuff you do doesn’t come easy to you? You still do it. Are you afraid that if you let people get close to you, they’ll think you’re a fraud?” He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “When people get too close, you push them away. In my case, hard.”
Winter dropped his hand and stood up. She covered her face andrefused to look even remotely in his direction. “What should we do next?”
Bobby stood up too. “I thought we could walk around MIT for a while, then head over to Kai’s cousin’s party. What do you think?”
A dark expression passed over Winter’s face, and she giggled. “You want to go to a frat party? That’s not like you.”
“I don’t know... You’re here.” He stepped closer, still trying to gauge whether she had wanted him to kiss her.
“What are you doing?” Winter asked, not looking up from her feet.
Bobby tilted her chin up so she’d look at him. He’d never seen her like this, so close, without any hint of a scowl or an impending insult. His breath was labored, and his blood was running hot as he held her face between his hands. She was so beautiful with her nearly black eyes and parted pink lips. The ridiculous, neat braid he’d put in her hair had to go though.
“I want to tell you something,” Bobby said.
Winter’s pupils were wide. “What is it?”
He moved his lips to her ear. “I don’t like your hair like this,” he said, and pulled the hair tie out.
“You’re so weird,” she laughed, pushing him away lightly.
“Wait,” he said, and clutched her hand to his chest before she pulled away. “There’s something else.” His heart was beating hard.
“What is it? You’re making me nervous.”
