Page 41 of Don't Let Me Go
According to the text he sent me later that night, I wasn’t “discreet” enough. Apparently, me almost getting my ass kicked by half the school’s homophobic football team was my own fault. I was “asking for it.” And since I clearly didn’t care how my actions affectedhim, Alex decided it was best that we no longer had anything to do with each other.
In hindsight, I know that getting dumped was a blessing in disguise. A guy who cared so little about me that he’d leave me in a potentially dangerous situation without a backward glance is definitelynotboyfriend material.
At the time, though, getting dumped like that really fucking hurt. Alex was my first (almost) boyfriend. And those nights we spent texting each other until the sun came up had been some of the happiest weeks of my life.
I’d almost forgotten how happy it made me to share my life with someone until Jackson came along.
Not that the situation with Jackson isanythinglike the situation with Alex.
Jackson’s not my secret boyfriend.Obviously. He’s not texting me for hours every night because he’s got a crush on me and hopes to get in my pants.
And I don’t want to get in his! Because I don’t crush on straight boys. And Jackson is straight.
Straight and bored.
Straight and bored and lonely.
Seriously, as amazing as getting to know Jackson has been, I’m not fooling myself that our time together is anything other than a summer friendship of convenience. Once school starts in the fall and he makes a bunch of new friends in the popular crowd, I’m sure he’ll find someone else to share his favorite cat videos with.
Probably some annoyingly pretty cheerleader who’s just like his ex-girlfriend.
Which is fine! Obviously. He’s allowed to have a girlfriend.
Like I said, Jackson’s not Alex. Jackson and I are not a couple. We’re just friends.
I mean, do we have amazing chemistry and a surprisingly strong connection? Sure.
Do I find myself occasionally thinking about him and replaying the R-rated parts of that incredibly steamy dream where we pledged our undying devotion to each other? Guilty.
Has this past week been one of the best weeks of my life in a long,longtime, and does the thought of having more weeks with someone as funny and thoughtful and handsome as Jackson make the world seem like an infinitely less shitty place to live in? Absolutely.
But all that just means...
It means...
Oh, fuck.
I have a crush on Jackson.
Chapter 16
Jackson
“Are you even watching this movie?” my aunt asks with an exasperated huff.
I look up from my phone and see her staring at me from the other end of the couch, her arms folded across her chest and an amused smirk on her face. When we were cleaning up after dinner, she asked if I wanted to watch a movie since it was Friday night and neither of us had any plans. I suggested the latest Zack Snyder zombie thriller, and Aunt Rachel agreed to give it a try, even though she’s not a fan of horror or gore.
“I’m watching,” I tell her, somewhat confused by her question and tone.
Aunt Rachel’s left eyebrow arches so high, she looks like the suspicion emoji. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“Then what’s the last thing that happened?”
I turn to the TV to refresh my memory, but Aunt Rachel has paused the film at a point where the entire screen is black. I try to remember what was going on with the zombies, but that proves more difficult than it should. I reallywaspaying attention. At least, at first. But a couple of minutes into the movie, Riley texted me, and I suppose I got distracted.
But that’s only because Riley’s been acting so weird lately.
