Page 81 of Don't Let Me Go
This time, I’m the one to pull Alex into a hug. It’s far less intense than our previous one, but still, I make sure to keep our pelvises apart to avoid any confusion.
Despite these precautions, though, when I hear a nearby voice aggressively and pointedly clearing its throat, I feel like I’ve been caught red-handed in an illicit tryst. I pull away from Alex and see that the voice belongs to Jackson. He’s standing a few feet away, staring at me with an intense but inscrutable expression.
“Can we talk?” he asks somewhat abruptly.
He doesn’t acknowledge Alex, who looks at Jackson, then me, then breaks into a sardonic smirk. “Just friends, huh?”
Before I can answer, Alex backs away and heads toward the amphitheater, making a tactical and tactful retreat.
Alone with Jackson, I feel my body start to panic. I’m not sure how much he saw or overheard before announcing his presence, but I’m low-key freaking out that he might’ve misconstrued my moment of reconciliation with Alex as something romantic.
“Sorry,” Jackson says, his eyes and tone softening as soon as Alex is out of sight. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You didn’t,” I assure him. “Alex and I were just deciding that going forward, we would try to be friends.Justfriends.”
Jackson’s face relaxes. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” He nods excitedly, barely able to conceal his smile. “That’s?.?.?.?good.”
It is? I mean, itis. But why does Jackson look so relieved? Is it because he’s happy that Alex and I are friends again? Or because he’s happy that Alex and I aren’tmorethan friends?
“Where’s Micaela?” I ask as my heart begins to pound quicker.
For some reason, the question makes him blush. “Micaela went back to Tallahassee.”
“What? Really?” I ask, a little too eagerly. My mind is racing as I consider what this might mean, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. “Did something happen?”
Chewing on his lip, Jackson lets out a nervous chuckle. “Sort of. We were talking about our relationship and about all the reasons why she and I could never get back together.”
I’m not sure what a heart attack feels like, but I’m pretty certain I’m about to have one. But a good heart attack? Is that a thing?
“You were?” I ask.
Jackson nods. “She said she could never date a guy who’d broken her heart. And I told her...” He swallows nervously. “I told her that I liked someone else.”
All the oxygen leaves my lungs. “You did?”
“Yeah,” he whispers, timidly staring down at the grass.
“Who?” I’m almost too afraid to ask. If his answer isn’t the answer I’m hoping for, I think it might honestly kill me.
“You.”
With that little word, he looks up into my eyes and smiles. He looks incredibly proud but also slightly terrified. Like he’s scaled Mount Everest and just now realized what a long drop it would be to the bottom.
“Me?” I can scarcely believe my ears. Or any of my other senses, for that matter. What’s happening now is the kind of thing that only happens in movies or dreams. But if this is a dream, I don’t ever want to wake up.
“Yeah. You.” Jackson nods. “Is that?.?.?.?okay?”
I’m smiling so hard, I think my cheeks might crack. “Very okay. Very,veryokay.”
The anxiousness vanishes from Jackson’s eyes as a triumphant grin spreads from one ear to the other. He takes a step forward and gently cups my face in his hands. “Can I kiss you?”
“Are you joking?” I almost shout. “Fuck,yes, kiss me!”
We laugh, both of us drunk with joy. Then without caring if anyone might be watching, Jackson leans forward and presses his lips to mine. And we kiss like it’s what we were born to do.
