Page 76 of Don't Let Me Go
Chapter 31
Jackson
A sinking feeling opens up in the pit of my stomach as I watch Riley disappear down the path with Alex. It’s the same feeling I get when I watch a horror movie and some scantily clad cheerleader hears a strange noise in a basement and goes off to investigate.
Every instinct in my body is telling me to go after him—to stop him from wandering off with the asshole who messed up his life.
I know it’s irrational. I know that he and Alex have unfinished business. But the possibility that Alex could do or say something—anything—that might hurt Riley is enough to make me want to chase him down and beat the shit out of him.
“I thought I noticed a spark,” Micaela says, grinning proudly as she hooks her arm around mine.
“What do you mean?”
“Did you not pick up on the sexual tension?” She laughs. “Those twoclearlyhave a history.”
I’m aware of their history. I’m also aware that the “tension” is anything but sexual. Even so, Micaela’s words knock the wind out of me. The idea of something happening between Riley and Alex, no matter how unlikely, fills me withdread. Not because Riley might get his heart broken but because I know that it would break mine.
Aunt Rachel said it could take time for me to figure out who I am and what I want, but if the panic I’m experiencing is any indication of the truth, then two things have become abundantly clear.
One, who I am is someone who can’t bear the thought of Rileybeing with anyone else, because, two, what I want is him.
“Ugh, Audrey’s getting impatient,” Duy groans as their phone pings with a slew of incoming texts. “She’s saving us seats in the front row, but some of the hard-core fans are giving her the stink-eye. We better hurry before she has a meltdown and decks someone.”
“Why don’t you go on ahead?” I suggest. “Micaela and I will follow in a minute.”
My feelings for Riley might finally be clear, but the situation with Micaela is anything but. Maybe she really did drive all this way so I wouldn’t have to spend my birthday weekend alone, but from the smiles and touches and private glances, I get the impression she’s hoping something more will happen. If that’s the case, if she still has feelings for me, then we need to talk. I need to be honest with her. About everything.
“Okay,” Duy sighs. “But don’t betoolong. Audrey will give your seats away to more deserving fans if you’re late.”
“Copy that. We’ve been warned.”
Duy winks at me, then heads off toward the amphitheater. When they’re gone, I motion for Micaela to have a seat on one of the benches overlooking the water. It’s another ridiculously sunny day, not a cloud in the sky, but for once there’s no humidity, and the breeze coming off the lake is surprisingly refreshing.
“Your friends are hilarious,” Micaela says approvingly. “Andveryinteresting.”
“Yeah.” I blush. “They’re pretty different from the guys back home.”
“I’ll say.”
Micaela laughs, and her smile is brighter than the sun over our heads. A part of me wishes we could stay in this moment: the sun on our faces, the breeze in our hair, and not a single worry in our heads other than getting to a concert on time. But there are things I need to say to her. Things she deserves to hear.
“Thanks again for driving all this way to see me,” I begin. “It was super-thoughtful.”
“What are friends for?”
“Except I haven’t been a good friend, have I? I definitely wasn’t a good boyfriend.”
Micaela shakes her head in protest. “You had areallytough year.”
“I know, but that doesn’t excuse how I treated you.”
“We don’t have to get into all that.”
“Yes, we do. I want to apologize.” Micaela looks about to protest again but stops herself. I suspect because she needs to hear this apology as much as I need to give it.
“You’re one of the best people I know, Micaela. You’re smart and funny and kind—so kind. And you are a beast of a cheerleader. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate that when we were together. After what happened with Devon, you stuck by me when so many people turned their backs on me, and all I did was push you away. I treated you like shit when all you wanted to do was help me, and I’msosorry for that.”
Micaela nods, unable to meet my eyes, and stares down at her lap. “Thank you for saying that.”
