Page 75 of Don't Let Me Go
“What areyoudoing here?” I ask, not even trying to hide the horror in my voice.
“I swear I’m not stalking you,” Alex protests, throwing his hands up in a display of surrender.
Despite my shock, I can’t help noticing how much taller he seems to have gotten. Do people keep growing after high school or did I just remember him as being short because his shitty behavior made me think of him as a small, insecure person? He’s also let his black hair grow out into a thick, luxurious mane, which is actually quite flattering compared to the macho buzz cut he always insisted on having because he thought it made him look straight.
“I was just on my way to the amphitheater,” Alex explains. “This band I like is giving a concert.”
“Youlike the Glorious Peccadilloes?” Jesus Christ, is everyone in Florida obsessed with this band? I’d never even heard of them until this morning, and now they’reeverywhere.
“Yeah, they’re not normally my thing,” Alex confesses with aself-conscious chuckle. “But last year, my roommate got me into them. I’m at the University of Miami, which is where the band’s originally from, so everyone down there is legally obligated to worship them.”
“Cool,” I reply. Because what else are you supposed to say to someone who once broke your heart and who now wants to swap music trivia?
The answer to that is nothing. But before I can think of a way to extricate myself from this clusterfuck of a conversation, Duy, Jackson, and Micaela are on top of us. Which means I now have the utter delight of introducing my friends to my least favorite person on the planet.
“Everyone, this is Alex,” I tell the group, straining to keep my tone civil. “He used to go to my school.”
I’m surprised by the warm greeting Duy gives Alex until I remember that Duy started at Olympus the year after the whole Alex debacle. Of course Duy’s heard the story, but that was years ago. I don’t think they’re making the connection that the Alex standing in front of us is the same guy that Audrey vowed eternal vengeance against.
Jackson, though, knows exactly who Alex is. And from the way he clenches his jaw and greets him with a tight-lipped “Hey,” it’s clear that he’s about as thrilled to be having this chance encounter as I am.
“You went to school with Riley?” Micaela asks, oblivious to both the death glare that Jackson is aiming in Alex’s direction and how uncomfortable that glare is making Alex.
“Uh, yeah.”
Micaela’s face breaks into a mischievous smile. “Were you guys friends or were you...”
Alex turns bright red and stares at me like a deer in headlights.
“We were just friends,” I lie. I might not be Alex’s biggest fan, but I’m also not about to out him to a total stranger.
Micaela nods, but from the knowing smirk she throws my way, I can tell she doesn’t believe me. In fact, it’s pretty clear that Micaela is determined to play queer matchmaker because she turns back to Alex and asks, “Are you here for the concert? Because if you are, you should totally join us.”
Now it’s my turn to look at Jackson for help. I can just about survive spending the day withhisex, but the idea of also spending it withmineis enough to send me into a full-blown panic attack.
Thankfully, Alex appears equally uncomfortable with Micaela’s invitation.
“Oh, thanks, that’s really nice but?.?.?.?I think I’m just going to do my own thing. You guys have fun, though. Enjoy the concert.”
Alex gives me a timid wave and starts to back away. For a second, I’m relieved. But before he turns to go, his eyes catch mine, and something about the way he looks at me—the pitiful mixture of longing and regret—fills me with something I never thought I’d feel for the boy who ruined my first year of high school: sympathy.
Part of me knows that I should let go of my anger and accept Alex’s apology. Or at the very least, hear him out. But another part of me finds it hard to believe that people like him are really capable of change.
Then again, if I’m willing to accept that Jackson isn’t the same person who allowed Devon Sanderson to be bullied so badly that he ended up in a hospital, don’t I owe Alex the chance to prove that he’s not the same person who broke my heart?
Besides, if my only options for today are hanging out with Alex or watching Jackson get cozy with his ex, there really isn’t a choice, is there?
“Alex, wait up!” I shout.
He stops, and I see his shoulders tense as he turns back to me. He must think I’m about to tell him off or, worse, out him in public, so Iforce myself to smile. Then, ignoring the look of confusion on Jackson’s face, I take a few quick steps toward Alex to close the distance between us.
“Do you want to go somewhere and talk?” I ask. “Just the two of us?”
The effect of my words is immediate. Alex’s entire body relaxes, and a grateful smile spreads across his lips.
“Really?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say. “It’s about time, don’t you think?”
