Page 60 of Don't Let Me Go
This isn’t a man crush, is it?
I feel my body start to panic. My legs are shaking. They’re itching to make a run for it. But at the same time, all I can think about is Riley and what it might be like to actually kiss him. His lips are so close. I’d only have to tilt my head...
“Yes, this is amazing, guys! Keep doing what you’re doing!”
What would Riley do if I kissed him?
Would he kiss me back?
Do I want him to kiss me back?
There’s only one way to find out.
I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna kiss Riley. I’m just gonna lean forward and—
“Okay, we got it!” Duy announces triumphantly. “We got the shot!”
Before I know what’s happening, Riley slips out of my arms. He darts out of the gazebo, dashes over to the pitcher of boba, pours himself a glass, and chugs it down like a man dying of thirst. But even when he’s done, he refuses to look in my direction.
“That wasso good!” Duy gushes as they scroll through the images on the camera. “Look at these shots!”
I don’t move. I can’t move. All I can think is that I missed my chance. I missed my chance to kiss Riley, and I don’t know if I’ll ever have another.
“That’s great. That’s great. That one’sreallygreat,” Duy comments as they shove the camera’s viewscreen in Riley’s face. “My clothes look amazing,obviously. But you guys? You guys looksohot. I was, like, totally convinced you were going to kiss!”
I can’t see the photo, but I can see Riley’s face.
“Yeah,” he says, his expression not giving anything away. “We look good together.”
Then slowly, deliberately, he looks at me. Our eyes lock and just for a moment, neither of us looks away.
Chapter 23
Riley
I need two things right now: to get as far away from Jackson as humanly possible and a shower. My body is drenched in sweat from being baked under the sun all morning. God knows what I must smell like under all the suffocating layers of this costume. Actually, I don’t need to guess. As I make my way to Duy’s bedroom to change, I catch a whiff of myself and cringe.
I’mripe.
How did I not notice the smell earlier? How did Jackson not notice? We were standing so close together in that gazebo, we were practically sharing the same skin.
Then again, Jackson was sweating just as much as I was, and I don’t remember him smelling too bad. I don’t actually remember much of anything, if I’m honest. Except how much I wanted him to kiss me.
Why did I agree to this stupid photo shoot?
Seriously, if I was trying to get my feelings for Jackson under control, I couldn’t have picked a more self-sabotaging way to spend the day. I might as well have asked him to go skinny-dipping or mud wrestling. I was five seconds away from losing what’s left of my self-control and sucking his goddamn face off. And if I didn’t know better, I’d swear that Jackson felt the same.
Only I do know better. Which is why I need to change and get the hell out of this house before I do something I’ll regret—like throw myself at Jackson and ruin our friendshipforever.
I slip into Duy’s bedroom and shut the door behind me, relieved tobe alone at last. I then strip off the heavy layers of my pink prison and toss them to the floor. The air-conditioning feels so refreshing against my skin that for a full minute, I just stand in my underwear, letting my body breathe in freedom.
Then I hear the bedroom door open behind me, and my heart starts to race.
In my feverish state, I’m just delusional enough to think that I’m right about Jackson’s attraction and that he’s followed me here to Duy’s bedroom to give me what we’ve both been craving.
But Jackson simply walks over to his pile of clothes and starts to change.
“Man, who knew modeling was such hard work?” he asks with a strained laugh as he peels off his topcoat.
