Page 53 of Don't Let Me Go
I remember Riley singing. Something by Queen, I think. Then I remember getting lightheaded.
No. Wait. That’s not right. Before the dizziness, there was something else. A feeling. Like déjà vu. Like I’d remembered something, something important. What was it?
“Okay, kiddies, am I calling an ambulance or what?” Miss Understood asks, waving her bedazzled phone in my direction. “Do we need to get this boy to a hospital?”
The entire room stares at me. I have no idea why I passed out or how long I’ve been unconscious, but I don’t feel like I need to go to a hospital. If anything, I feel like an ass for causing a scene.
“Are you okay?” Riley asks, squeezing my hand. He still hasn’t let go. It feels nice. Comforting. It feels—
Like we belong together.
“I’m good,” I yelp, snatching my hand from his.
Riley looks taken aback. But I couldn’t help myself. My cheeks are burning.
Despite the unsteadiness of my legs, I force myself to stand. I’m feeling claustrophobic—trapped.I need to get outside. Away from people. I need to—think.
“Sorry I ruined the show,” I mumble to the crowd. Then, without waiting for a response, I push my way through the onlookers and hurry to the exit.
Riley calls my name, but I don’t stop. I’m too ashamed. And confused. By my fainting. By my dream. But mostly by the things I felt for Riley in that dream. Things I’m pretty sure a guy doesn’t feel for another guy unless...
The afternoon sun almost blinds me when I step outside. It’s disorienting. I’m expecting to see a full moon in the night sky and to feel a brisk chill in the air, and I can’t understand why I don’t until I remember they were part of the dream. The dream where Riley and I—where we—belongedtogether?
“Jackson, wait up!” Riley shouts, exiting the bar with Duy, Audrey, and Tala close behind. “Where are you going?”
“Sorry,” I mutter, unable to look him in the face. “I needed some air.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine,” I lie, forcing a smile. “You guys should go back inside. Enjoy the rest of the show. Don’t worry about me. I’m gonna head home.”
I scan the parking lot for my Jeep, then remember that it was Riley who drove Duy and me to Heartbeats.
“I’ll take you home,” Riley says, fishing the keys from his pocket.
“No!” I snap. Riley stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. And maybe I have. That would at least explain everything that’s happened today.
“I mean thank you,” I say, trying to cover. “But you don’t have to do that. I’ll get a Lyft.”
“Jackson, youfainted. I’m not letting you take a Lyft.”
I can’t exactly argue with that. Not without making it seem like something really is wrong with me. Which there isn’t. I just had a weird dream. That’s all.
I don’t even know why I’m reacting like this. So I had some dream where Riley—or someone who looked like Riley—said that he andI belonged together. So what? That could mean anything. It doesn’t have to mean—you know. And even if it did, it was a dream.Thisis reality.
“Jackson?” Riley says, his eyes full of concern.
“Okay, yeah, sure,” I concede, too exhausted to argue anymore. “You should probably drive me home.”
Riley nods, looking relieved. Then he turns to Duy and asks, “Are you ready to go?”
Duy hesitates and looks back toward Heartbeats. “Um,actually,if Jackson’s good now—and he does look so much better, soyay!—I think I’m going to stay for a bit and hang with Caleb. We were kind of vibing earlier, so...”
Crap. I assumed Duy would be coming with us. If they stay, it’ll be just Riley and me. In his car. Together. Alone.
“We’ll give Duy a ride home,” Audrey volunteers. “Tala and I are gonna stick around too. Maybe get another song in.”
“Unless Jackson needs us?” Tala offers.
