Page 134 of Don't Let Me Go
“I know,” I answer. “But we’ll also get to live again. And again. And again.”
“Even so, I can’t ask you to do this.”
“You’re not asking, I’m offering. Besides, you would do the same.”
Jackson sighs and shakes his head, but he doesn’t contradict me. He knows he could never leave me if our roles were reversed. Despite this, I can tell he’s still conflicted about my decision, so I take his hand in mine and smile.
“You are half my soul, Jackson. You are the person that I am meant to spend my life with. Not just this life.Everylife. And I don’t care if that pisses off the universe or if we’re breaking its precious rules. I don’t care if it keeps swatting us like flies. I can take the swatting.I can die a million times if it means I get the chance to live a million more lives with you. Because I’m not afraid of dying. The only thing I’m afraid of is having to live one minute of my life without you.”
Jackson is silent as he struggles to find his words. When he does, he looks at me with so much tenderness, my heart can hardly bear it.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
“I’m sure.”
Jackson takes both my hands in his and squeezes them. “We only got to be together for a few weeks this time around. What if in the next life it’s even less? What if we only get a few days? Or a few hours?”
“What if we get the full eighteen years?”
The thought of us sharing almost two full decades coaxes a grin from Jackson. “You know there’s a good chance we probably won’t remember any of this. We’re gonna be starting from scratch again. We might not even recognize each other.”
I bring his left hand to my lips and kiss it, then the right, and then I press both his hands against my heart. My heart that will always be his.
“I’ll find you,” I promise. “Whatever happens, wherever we end up, no matter how many times we die or how many times we come back, I’ll find you.”
“Not if I find you first.”
The tunnel around us shakes as more of the roller coaster implodes overhead. Under the weight of who knows how many collapsed floors, the roof buckles and groans above us. A sound like a low, desperate moan echoes in our ears, then slowly and steadily builds into an angry scream. Like a wild beast dying. Like the universe howling.
With an earsplitting screech, the tunnel finally collapses. Jackson throws his arms around me, pulls me to his chest, and holds meso tightly that it becomes impossible to know where he ends and I begin.
“I love you,” he says, pressing his forehead to mine. “In this life and every life.”
“I love you too,” I answer. “In this life and every life.”
Shutting my eyes, I listen as the universe roars. It sounds like crashing metal, shattering glass, and an eternity of outrage. Over all of that, though, I hear Jackson. His voice is strong and clear and full of the future.
“Don’t let me go.”
