Page 129 of Don't Let Me Go
“Why wouldn’t we understand?”
“Because you’ll both think I’m crazy.”
“We’re not going to think you’re crazy,” Tala assures me.
“Yes, you are.”
“Riley, we love you. You can tell us anything.”
Tala and Audrey stare at me with pleading eyes. They both want to help me so much. And right now, I do need help.
I take a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll tell you everything. But for real, you’re going to think I’m crazy.”
“Riley, look at me,” Tala says. “I promise: This is a safe space. No one is going to think you’re crazy.”
“You’re fuckingcrazy,” Audrey exclaims.
I just finished telling her and Tala about everything that’s happened to Jackson and me over the past month, and (unsurprisingly) Audrey is now staring at me like I’ve either lost my goddamn mind or never had one to begin with.
“Witches? Reincarnation?Past lives?” Audrey throws her arms up in the air like she’s asking the universe if it also sees how ridiculous I am.
“I know,” I sigh. “It’s a lot.”
“It’s bananas!”
“Babe,” Tala gently chides her, “remember what we discussed about respecting other people’s beliefs even if they differ from our own?”
“T., he’s talking about being aViking. That’s not a belief. That’s brain damage.”
“I knew I shouldn’t have told you,” I grumble.
“No, you shouldn’t have let some con artist convince you to break up with your boyfriend because you guys had a couple of bad dreams!”
“They weren’t dreams. They were—never mind. It doesn’t matter. You’re never going to believe me.”
“Riley, wait!” Tala says as I start to rise. “We believe you.”
“We do?” Audrey asks.
Tala kicks her under the table, then flashes me a reassuring if somewhat artificial smile. “We believe that you believe that your life will be in danger if you date Jackson. That’s not crazy.”
“It’s not?”
“No,” Tala insists. “I feel the same way about dating Audrey.”
I sit back down. “You do?”
“Sometimes,” she clarifies. “I see the looks we get when we’re together in public. I hear the comments. It can be scary. And even though I try to stay positive and not let that fear affect me, a part of me is always a little afraid—afraid someone won’t like seeing two girls kissing and decide that they need to do something about it.”
Despite the noon heat, Tala shivers. Audrey reaches out and takes her hand.
“What I’m saying is, it’s not crazy to be afraid,” Tala continues. “When you’re queer and in a relationship, you’re always going to be a target. Especially in Florida. But that doesn’t mean you should be afraid of love. Love is how we get through the fear to something better. Love is how we get to hope.”
“Exactly,” Audrey agrees. “That’s all I was trying to say.”
“Sure, babe.” With a chuckle, Tala leans over the table and kisses Audrey’s cheek.
Seeing their love for each other and how happy it makes them, I want to believe Tala’s words more than I’ve ever wanted to believe anything. Because if she’s right, if on the other side of fear there’s hope, then despite Jocasta’s warning and all our visions of death and doom, there’s still hope for Jackson and me.
