Page 92 of Falling for Them
I can only shake my head as I watch Sebastian and me sing.Now I understand.It wasn’t his face that was familiar to me when I first met him—it’s his voice.I’ve heard his songs—how could I not?He’s a freaking star.His voice is everywhere.I just never listened to his songs that much.
I’m an idiot for not figuring it out sooner.
He looks incredible in the video.He’s in control, like he belongs on that stage.He knew how to interact with the crowd, how toperform.
I did karaoke with a rock star.I’vefuckeda rock star.And I had no fucking idea.
Another laugh leaves my mouth.
Tommy pauses the video.“Ella, what is going on?”
I shake my head and cover my face, but I can’t stop laughing.“I didn’t know he was Bastian Crown.”
Tommy gives me a skeptical look.“Be serious.”
“I am serious.”
“You’re shitting me.You were up on stage with Bastian Crown and you didn’t know it was him?”
“I never really paid attention to his music, not really.I certainly never knew what he looked like.You think I’ve had time to internet-stalk every rock star?”
He shakes his head in disbelief.“You’re like, the only person in that bar who didn’t know who he was, huh?”
“Seems so,” I say, looking at the stilled video on Tommy’s phone.Unbelievable.
“Well, that was it,” he says.“I’ll let you get some rest.”
“You’re being awfully considerate,” I tell him.“Where’s the real Tommy?”
“Shut up.I’m just trying not to be a dick.”
“I appreciate that,” I say.“As well as the sandwich.”
He stands up and stretches.“You can’t loan me fifty bucks, can you?”
Ugh.“Tommy.Get the fuck out.”
He grins and holds up his hands.“Sorry, sorry.I had to ask.”
I just point to the door, but I can feel my mouth twitching in an almost-smile.“Too soon, dickhead.”
Laughing, he leaves.
As soon as he’s gone, my mood plummets, because now I’m alone with my thoughts, which, instead of dwelling on Sebastian being Bastian Crown, invariably return to that video of me and Joel.I knew he was a creep, but I never thought he would do something like that.Something so invasive.
I should’ve been going out with Mr.Tyler and Sebastian tonight.I should’ve been dressing up, feeling nervous butterflies in my stomach and wondering how the night would end.Instead, I’d asked Kevin for an extra shift at Bartleby’s so I wouldn’t have to be here, alone in my apartment, thinking and worrying.
I can’t date Mr.Tyler and Sebastian, not with Joel’s threat hanging over me.It’s one thing to not care about what the world things of me dating two men.It’s another thing entirely to have a sex tape floating around, out of my control.
Pulling my tattered throw pillow into my lap, I clutch it tightly to my chest, wondering if I’ll ever feel free, now that Joel has that video to hold over my head.
I don’t think I will.
He’s never going to let me go, and even if he says he has, I’ll never be able to trust that.
For the rest of my life, I’ll be looking over my shoulder, wondering when that video might surface.
A choked sob leaves my throat, but I take a deep breath and hold it.I’m not going to cry.I’m tired of that shit.So I burrow deep down into my own mind where all is dark and sterile and I don’t have to feel or see anything at all.
