Page 33 of Bound By Them
I’m not fine. I don’t know what that was. It’s never happened before, but it was the worst.
“Panic attack?” Troy’s voice is gentle. “Looks like one. You’re safe, Dani. I don’t know if holding you will make it worse or better.”
“You can hold me. Just—” Pressure on the neck. Death. I gasp for air. “Don’t touch my neck.”
“Got it.”
He gathers me into his lap and wraps his arms tight around me.
It’s still hard to breathe. Each breath is fast, shallow. I still can’t get enough air.
“Hey.” Edmund doesn’t touch me. “Slow your breathing so you don’t hyperventilate.”
I’m trying. I nod, making eye contact with him. Regret shines in his usually playful green eyes. But I’m the one who hit him, not the other way around.
Troy speaks. “Dani, I’m going to pick you up, okay? We’re going inside.”
“Y-yeah.” I nod, squeezing my eyes shut.
I feel myself lifted in his strong arms. He carries me inside—I hear the large glass door sliding shut behind us.
Troy sits down, and a blanket is tucked around me while he holds me. “We’re in bed. Stay with us tonight, so we can watch over you?”
“Yeah.” I curl into him and peer around the dark room. I couldn’t leave if I wanted to, because I feel safe now. Whatever that was, it was weird, but it’s over.
“I’m so fucking sorry.” Edmund looks as wrecked as I feel. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.”
“You didn’t know, it’s okay.” I try to smile, but fail. “I didn’t know, either. And, um. I’m sorry for hitting you.”
He shrugs. “It was an accident. I’m fine.”
The guys move the blankets around. Troy puts me on the mattress and I wiggle out of my wet panties. Edmund sees what I’m doing and takes them from me. I don’t care what he does with them—I’m too tired to worry about things like clothes. They give me one of their t-shirts to sleep in. I slide it on, inhaling their scents.
Seconds later, I’m asleep.
Danica
I wake up disoriented. Bright sunlight filters through deep green curtains. The sky beyond is impossibly blue, like someone filled in the atmosphere with pure blue paint.
This isn’t my room. That isn’t my sky.
I’m in the Salding district, in Edmund and Troy’s apartment. Holy shit. Did all of that happen? The threesome on the balcony…
I can’t believe it. Two guys, with me? I’ve never had any big hang-ups surrounding sex. I was raised to believe that sex is a healthy expression of love, lust, and many other feelings. But in my mind, it was always about doing those things and connecting with one other person.
Last night, I connected with two. And I guess it technically wasn’t the first time.
Leah’s with two guys, I reason with myself. She’s happy, and I still respect her. There’s nothing shameful about this. And even if there was, how the fuck could I choose between Troy and Edmund?
I wouldn’t be able to.
Discarding the worries, I think back to what we did. Little pings of arousal dance over my nerve endings as I remember how they held me, kissed me, fucked me.
There was only one negative to the whole experience—the panic attack. And they handled it really well.
I don’t know what that was about, when Edmund put his hand on my throat. Why would that faint touch make me feel like I was drowning? It makes no freaking sense.
The human brain is weird sometimes, so I guess I’ll have to let it go as one of life’s mysteries.
