Page 28 of Legacy
Luke counts down, and I don’t look up when it’s time, I keep my face pointed at the shots. What the hell am I doing?Focus, Aara. Focus.
I close my eyes and try to take a few deep breaths. How do I expect to be a goddamn operator when being next to him is akin to a nuclear bomb of testosterone?
Sanders is across from me in the circle. When I chance a look up, everyone is staring at me. Dagger narrows his eyes at Hart. “You’re cheating, fucker. You’re looking at Dempsey every time.”
“It’s a strategy,” he replies, lifting and lowering one shoulder. “Don’t hate the player, bro.”
I do the unthinkable. I meet Luke’s eyes. A mistake. A relief. Everything rolled into one. Just as I imagined, the smile is perfect, the hue of blue is dreamy, and also as I suspected, my stomach leaps to my throat.
“Drink, then,” I say, leaning over to pick up a cup for myself. “Fair is fair.”
We take the shot. Then we take the next six shots, too because I look at him and he looks at me. Every round. There’s no question of if we’ll switch it up. The sexual tension is fever pitch level, a maddening and cumbersome feeling in my chest. My body is vibrating with need. Skydiving with him only reinforced what I already knew. The trust. The vigor which we both possess for life and country. It’s the elephant in the room in a land where elephants don’t exist. They can’t. They’re not naturally occurring. It caused the seemingly invisible string connecting us to forge itself in steel and bind impenetrable knots.
Also, it’s a game I know I can’t win. I’m leaving here blitzed drunk, but at least I know I’ll have the courage to tell him to his face what I’m feeling. If I looked at someone else now, I’d let the man win. Tonight, the challenge tastes like vodka.
Two shots remain on the table. Using one hand, I pick up both and hand one to Luke. Dagger is jumping up and down whooping—the noise is wild in the room and if I was sober, I’d probably fear getting the cops called. A little logic seeps in between the inebriated cracks as I tilt my head back, open my throat, and let the liquid slide down to warm my stomach even more. Cringing, I wipe a hand over my mouth and lean over to put my hands on my knees.
“Gross, gross, gross.”
Babe cackles. “Doesn’t count if it comes back up, Little Dempsey. Hold it!” I didn’t even know he knew my name. That’s a plus, I guess. Everyone disperses, some to the kitchenette, another to the restroom, and I do my best to keep the room from turning upside down.
Milo pairs off with one of the women, whispering something into her ear. Dagger is tooling around on his phone, on Tinder, announcing names, ages, and bios as he swipes. That could be interesting. Doing my best,I’m trying to seem soberwalk, I sit next to him on the edge of the bed.
“She’s pretty.” I point at the girl on his phone and lean in to get a better look. “And she looks nice.”
Dagger laughs but stops abruptly when Hart slings himself down in the chair next to the bed. Dagger scoots away from me, but I follow, I want to see. “Dempsey,” Dagger says, clearing his throat, looking at me sideways. “I’m not trying to find the nice ones. I’m trying to find the ‘looking for a good time tonight ones.’”
Such a simplicity in that lifestyle. I’ve never had that. Not all the way. Even when I traveled to London, I knew my commitments were in the States and that I would return. My whole life would be laid out for me.
“That easy, huh?” I ask, curious.
“That easy.” Dagger swipes in whatever way means he’s not interested, and another woman comes on the screen. “She’s a mile down the road,” he explains, showing me her location.
I crinkle my nose. “She’s not nearly as pretty as the other.”
Hart chimes in with a firm tone. “They don’t have to be pretty, Dempsey.”
My head swims when I hear the gruff salve of his voice. “No one asked you.” I wobble a bit, leaning toward Dagger. “That’s rude, too.”
“You’re over there judging their looks against each other and I’m rude?” He looks stone-cold sober and I’m unsure how that’s possible. I’m drunker than I first thought.
I ignore Luke and concentrate on Dagger’s phone. He’s in the private messages now, talking to the woman who is a mile away. I sigh and reach into my sweatshirt pocket for my own phone. My screen is littered with notifications of texts and social media alerts. I close them all out and download Tinder for myself.
Dagger laughs. “Are you serious?”
I shoot him a dirty look as he peers down at my screen. “Does it look like I’m serious? Help me set up my profile.”
Dagger tentatively takes the phone from me, setting his aside. “You realize this is a horrible idea, right?”
“You too? Hart said the same thing when I suggested it earlier today. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, right? If you can do it, so can I.”
Luke clears his throat loudly, and Dagger’s gaze drags to his friend. I look between them and it’s obvious there’s a silent conversation happening. “Luke told you not to get dating apps?” Dagger asks, eyes narrowed at his friend.
“Yes. I don’t know why. We’re equals.” I hiccup. Well in all ways except how we hold our alcohol. Definitely not equal there.
Dagger grins. “I know why.”
“Why?” I ask, and Hart looks away, leaning his elbows on his knees and placing his chin on his hands. Dagger doesn’t answer me. I’m an angry drunk and being ignored, well, it doesn’t bode well. “Why?” I ask louder.
