Page 38 of Lust in Translation

CHAPTER TEN

KENDALL

DRUNK, INFORMED, AND SADDERthan I’ve been in a long time, I crawl into bed next to Adam. The digital clock on the nightstand reads three. Between my snow-heaving workout and the remnants of Adam’s booze I thought I’d fall asleep quickly, but absolution doesn’t come. Adam’s breaths are steady and low and I try to focus on his inhales and exhales to calm myself. His hand, on autopilot, reaches over and pulls me against his body. I go, tucking my hand under my head and letting his warmth heat me through. This is when I realize the game we’ve been playing is dangerous. Far more destructive than our reasons for staying together. Our habits, good and bad, will only serve to deliver swift pain. They’ll dot every memory we have of each other during this time.

I press my hand over Adam’s and try to match his breaths. I’m almost asleep when a fierce pounding on our front door forces us both out of bed at a jump. “What time is it?” Adam asks, flying to open our bedroom door. “What’s going on?”

My heart is thrashing against my chest. “It’s four,” I rasp, my voice hoarse as my gaze flies around the room trying to make sense of the noise. More angry pounding on the front door. “Where’s my robe?” I rub at my eyes and tug on the hem of my shirt. The cool air stings my bare legs.

Adam grabs his robe from the hook behind the door. My hook, next to his, is empty. He heads to the front door at a brisk clip. “Someone might be in trouble,” Adam calls. “This weather. I bet it’s a traveler stuck.” He presses his face against the door to peer through the peephole and opens the door. Curiosity overtakes my body temperature and I creep toward the front door.

Who else would it be? It’s Leo Callaway, covered in snow from head to foot. Even his eyelashes are frozen together. “I found the cat,” Leo barks, shooting a glance at me, my legs, and then my face. “Kendall,” Leo says, “Go fill the kitchen sink with warm water. Not hot,” he says. “Adam, you have a heating blanket? Start the fireplace.”

“Coal?” I cry out.

Leo pushes into the entrance and I see a duffle bag slung crossways over his body, and he has a head lamp still switched on beaming from his forehead. “Kendall, he isn’t good. The sink. Now,” Leo barks. Adam is already busying himself with the fireplace, taking orders. I still don’t move. I’m too busy understanding what time it is and how long Leo must have been outside looking for my cat.

He shoulders past me and into the kitchen, snow falling onto the hardwood and turning to puddles. He cranks on the faucet and then removes his gloves using his teeth. Then he unzips the duffle bag and pulls Coal out. Unmoving. A lifeless ragdoll, ice clinging to his fur like it’s always been there.

“We need to warm him up,” Leo says, mostly to himself because I’m in shock and I can’t see anything except another death on my hands. Adam comes up behind me and puts his robe around my shoulders. I pull my arms through it, tie the waist, and thank him. Or, at least I think I do. Leo is rubbing Coal as the warm water trickles over his midsection. “I found him four houses down under the steps. The new snow had boxed him in.

“How long have you been out there?” I ask, not recognizing my own voice through my tears. “Searching for him?”

Leo clears his throat. “It doesn’t matter.” He directs Adam to plug in the heating blanket on the counter next to him. The fire is now crackling to life. “I didn’t find him soon enough. I’m so sorry, Kid.” Leo lays the limp, dark body on the blanket and presses his ear against Coal’s chest, before covering his midsection with the warming blanket. I slide down the counter and sit on the wood floor, watching Leo give chest compressions to the tiny animal I failed. He stops to blow gently in his mouth, and then continues using a single thumb to press against the tiny chest. He blows in his mouth again, giving CPR to Coal.

“Anything?” Adam asks, voice low. I tuck my head in between my knees. Why wasn’t I the one looking at the neighbors’ houses? Why didn’t I look under their stairs? I could have found him in time.

Leo makes some noncommittal noise. Adam lays a hand on my shoulder. “Come sit by the fire. You must be cold.” I’m wearing his robe and he thinks I’m cold. I keep my gaze averted from Coal as I pass them on my walk to the living room and sink into the sofa.

“He’s breathing,” Leo says. Standing, I turn to look, and even from this distance I see his little chest moving up and down. “I can’t believe it worked,” Leo exclaims, unzipping and without taking his gaze from the kitten, tosses his jacket over a barstool. Adam unplugs the heating blanket and Leo walks with a bundled Coal over to sit in front of the fire. “I can’t believe it worked,” Leo says again, watching the kitten breathe. “It was so cold out. I didn’t think he had a chance.”

I kneel next to Leo and press my hand on Coal’s back. “You’re warming up now,” I whisper. “You’re going to be okay, little guy. You’re okay.” Tears prick my eyes as relief washes over me.

Adam paces next to us, hands perched on his hips. Leo meets my gaze and grins. “I mean, I knew I was good, but I need to add bringing living things back from the dead to my resume. Think I’d get a raise?”

I roll my eyes, but I’m so grateful we’re able to joke in this moment, that I let a burse of laughter ring free. I hit his arm. “You’re so vain.”

Adam clears his throat. We both look to him. I’d forgotten he was there. “Typical,” Adam says, looking between us. “I buy the cat and you save it.”

I furrow my brow, trying to decipher the meaning, and Leo looks back to the kitten. “What is that supposed to mean, Adam?” I stand to meet him square on. “Neither of us were out there looking for Coal. He was, damn it! You should be thanking him, not doing whatever it is you’re doing right now.”

Adam doesn’t dignify me with a response, he glances down at Leo. “Thanks, Leo. For saving Coal. I appreciate it.” He turns back to me. “I’m going back to bed now. I’m glad your cat is okay.”

Adam leaves and I’m left feeling extremely awkward. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten in to him. We had an argument earlier and we haven’t quite sorted it, you know? Don’t take it personal, Leo.” I sit down again, my leg brushing Leo’s as I do. “Thank you so much for finding Coal.”

He breathes a long sigh. “Even though you told me you didn’t need help, huh?”

“Yeah. I was a jerk. I’m sorry. I hope everything is okay with Avery.” That’s what a friend would say. A caring, freaking friend.

“Kid, I’m not with Avery.” Leo shakes his head. “Not anymore. Not for a long time. I had to help her out. That’s it.” He reads between the lines easily.

“You don’t owe me an explanation,” I say, preserving my pride.

He chuckles, stroking Coal. The cat lifts his head and looks at me. He meows loud and angry. I pick him up and clutch him to my chest. “I don’t owe you an explanation, but you wanted one earlier when we were by your car. That was clear. How was your therapy?” Leo turns to look over his shoulder.

I shrug, kissing the top of Coal’s head. “Don’t worry. Adam is already snoring.” I sigh. “The same as it always is. I said what I was supposed to say. On the way home Adam and I talked about ending it. I’m not sure what he’s waiting for.”

“What we’re all waiting for. A sign.”

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