Page 33 of Lust in Translation

“That’s a poor idea. One I won’t let you partake in. Sorry.” She shoves a bottle of water into my hand. “You’ll roll over and crush your cat. Think of how upset you’d be tomorrow if you smothered your own kitten.”

“Why are you so weird? How are we friends?” I unscrew the top and take a long drink. She’s right. I need water. More of it. I drain it completely and crush the bottle when I’m finished. Juliet fixes the drinks and I pace the kitchen like a mad woman, hissing under my breath about why they’ve been in there so long.

“Tomorrow at therapy, I think you need to be honest with him,” Juliet says. “You’ll have the buffer I know you feel like you need. I think you’d be surprised how well he takes it. You’ve basically been priming him for this for a while now.”

I lean both elbows on the cold granite. “When you say honesty, what exactly am I telling him?”

“Divorce. You’re in love with another man. Rather, you’ve only ever been in love with one man.”

“That’s a lie. That’s not truth at all.” Hanging my head, I let my forehead rest on the counter, as well.

Juliet coughs. “Which is a lie?”

“I loved Adam.” I hear it the second it leaves my mouth. The lie.

Juliet sets the made drinks on the counter. “You loved the idea of Adam when you applied him to family life. You were never in love with the man. Is that accurate?”

He was so silent, I didn’t hear him open the door or walk down the short hallway. “Drinks?” Leo says, laying a hand softly on the back of my head. “Not that this one needs anymore to drink.” Juliet laughs nervously. How much did he hear? Where is Adam? God, we weren’t careful enough with our words and voices.

“Adam went to the restroom,” Leo says. I rise from my standing fetal position.

“What did you hear?” I hiss. Juliet grabs Adam’s drink and walks to hedge him off at the bathroom, giving me a side-eye as she passes me.

“Kid,” Leo growls, narrowing his gorgeous eyes, “You’re asking the wrong questions, aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be asking whatheheard?”

I open my mouth to speak, then close it again. “He’s not a stealthy fucking SEAL sleuthing around when I don’t know it! He’s in the bathroom. You’re here!”

“You don’t give him enough credit, Simmons.”

“I’m Simmons now?”

He raises his brows. “Yeah. Most definitely. Here you are.”

Leo grabs a bottle of water. “I have to drive, I’ll take this for the road.”

“You’re leaving?” Irrational panic washes over me.

He sees it. “Kendall,” he whispers. “Walk me out.” He takes a step back, gaze locked on mine for another beat, and he turns away when Adam comes out, drink in hand. He looks nonplussed for the most part, but he’s so keen on hiding his emotions these days I can’t be sure he’s unaffected by whatever conversation was just had. My heart is pounding, racing because I want to walk Leo out, but I don’t want to upset Adam any more than he is.

“I’m taking off for the night. Thank you for your hospitality. It’s been a delightful evening. The food was amazing and the company was top notch.” Adam mutters a goodbye and shakes Leo’s hand. I don’t see where he goes next because I can’t tear my eyes from him.

Leo strikes up a conversation with Juliet as he shrugs on his jacket and pulls on his winter hat. My panic blossoms into full-blown anxiety as I watch them banter about the stupid flu.

“Walk him out,” Adam interjects—breaking the haze. Then he drains the rest of his double. “I have a quick email to get out.” He sets his glass down and heads back to his office.

What? What is going on? Why doesn’t he care?

I don’t dwell too long because Leo is already outside. I throw on the pair of fuzzy boots I keep by the door and a jacket and fly outside. Leo’s truck is parked on the dark side of the driveway so I have to squint in the darkness to see him. He’s leaning against the driver’s side door watching me approach. He drains the bottle of water in his hand and opens his truck door to toss the trash inside. “Thanks for coming over for dinner,” I say, my words blowing smoke in the frigid air.

“It was enlightening, to say the least,” Leo returns.

I sigh. “What did you talk to Adam about?”

He shakes his head. I take a step closer. And another. I’ll never be close enough. When I can feel his body warmth, he pulls me into a hug. I take a deep breath and inhale. His soap. His clothes. His skin. Leo Callaway in one breath. The damage is collateral because I don’t just want his arms around my body and I’m admitting that.

I slide my arms inside of his jacket and relish the feel of his muscles against my body—protecting me, shielding me from everything else. “Don’t go,” I say.

“I’ll see you in the morning. We have class bright and early.”

I choke on a sob. “I have to go back in there. I have to sleep in his bed tonight.”

Leo takes me by the arms and pulls me away. “Here’s the thing, Kendall. You can talk to me all you want about your marriage, but I can’t help it. I’m not in it. If you don’t want to sleep in his bed, then don’t. Don’t tell me about it. Tell him that. Though I’m pretty sure he knows you don’t want to sleep in his bed at this juncture.”

“How do you know that?”

He cups my face and his hand is warm against my icy skin. “You’re happy.” Leo leans in and I’m both excited and terrified when his lips linger near mine. The steam from our breath mingles in the space between our mouths. I can taste his tongue in the vapor. My eyes fall closed and I tilt my chin up, willing him to take what I’m offering, what I want to give him.

When I open my eyes, I see the shadows on his face. The restraint. The look. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Simmons.” Shut down. Shut off. Leo pushes me back and closes the door of his truck and the engine roars to life a moment later. I stand there, on the dark side of the driveway long after his truck disappears from my view.

My heart is still pounding when I go back inside. He almost kissed me. He wanted to kiss me. The attraction is there. It’s quantifiable. Juliet sees it. How do I fight against it? Do I even want to? Kicking off my boots and hanging my coat, I realize I’ve left the door open a crack. Or has it been cracked the entire time I was outside? I push it closed and head to the guestroom.

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