Page 17 of Tossing It

His muscles are tightly coiled, strong. Leif’s body is saying everything his words never have. He wants me. Us. This. Just as much as I do. When he pulls away from the kiss, I meet his eyes. The light blue is exquisite this close—a liquid ocean full of torment and satisfaction. He pushes breaths through his full lips as he pants, the only exertion being him holding himself back. A flood of wetness soaks my panties, a mere look turning me to culpable putty in his hands. I’d give up anything to have him. This look. I feel it everywhere.

“Malena,” he says, licking his lips. “I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop.”

“Then don’t. Kiss me.”

Wetting his lips, he looks at me reverently laying beneath his strong frame. “I want to do a fuck ton more than kiss you,” he says, leaning back, his legs on either side of my own. My shirt rode up, and there’s an ample amount of under boob exposed. “A kiss didn’t fix anything.” Leif shakes his head. “A kiss sealed my fucking fate.” Sighing, he bends his head and drags his lips up my stomach to my breasts, teasing my shirt up with his tongue, until his mouth seals over my nipple.

He slides his mouth over to the other side and repeats the gesture, his lips and tongue worshipping my skin—slowly, methodically. I’m lost in the moment, his touch, the way he’s looking at me, testing my reactions like he’s trying to play an instrument. My breaths come quicker, and my stomach flips when he finally brings his kiss back to my mouth. A soft rain begins falling outside my window, the wind blowing it around signaling a night storm.

“You kiss like you’ve had a lot of practice,” I say, my words brushing across his wet lips.

He shakes his head slowly, dragging his tongue along my bottom lip as he does. “You make me feel like this is my first time.”

His words hit me everywhere this time, including my heart. “You’re so smooth.” I guide his head back to mine and steal the knowing smirk off his face with another kiss. He groans into my mouth as he presses his erection between my legs. The hard bulge is exactly where I want it minus our pesky clothing. His face tells me he’s thinking the same thing as he glances between our bodies, his bottom lip clutched between his teeth.

The moment turns to dust as the first roll of thunder breaks around us. We both jump. Leif puts a hand on his chest. “I’m not used to that yet. This shit comes out of the middle of nowhere.”

“I know. It’s not something you get used to either. Sort of comes out of the middle of nowhere most of the time,” I say, my heart rate hammering more from his touch than from the scare.

Kneeling, I hug him around his neck. His hands hold me, but his attention is focused at my open window. That thunder must have really shocked him. “Did you hear that?”

“Yeah, obviously,” I reply.

He shakes his head. “No, not the thunder or the rain. It sounded like a crash,” he says. “In the distance.” Nope. I didn’t hear anything. His cat-like, SEAL reflexes must be on alert. When he pulls away from me and stands from the bed his eyes are narrowed out the window, his gait sure, steady, it looks like he’s entered another mode—another skin.

“My bike is gone,” he whispers.

I jump out of bed and grab my phone and then the horrified sickening feeling rages in my stomach. “I didn’t turn the alarm back on,” I whisper.

“What?” Leif says, turning to look at me over his shoulder.

I run to the living room and sure enough, the front door is wide open, the rain blowing in anytime a gust of wind strikes. “My mom. She’s gone. She left,” I scream out, but Leif is already out the front door at a pace that seems inhuman. “I didn’t turn the alarms back on,” I say to myself. How could I forget? Why would I turn them off and forget? What is wrong with me? Staring at the cell phone screen and the red disarmed buttons, I close my eyes and take a silent, horrified breath. “I did this. It’s my fault. It’s always my fault.”

I step into the rain and am soaked in seconds, my hair plastered across my forehead. With bare feet, I make my way down the driveway to the main road and look both left and right. When do I call the police? Now? The road is silent, we only have a few houses on our street, but there are a ton of trails cutting through the thick brush-like woods that surround our house. It’s from one of these trails that Leif appears several feet from where I stand, a rain-soaked hero, my mother, sobbing silently, in his arms.

“Get the car, Malena,” he calls out the order. “Her wrist is broken. She took a fall on the bike.” Her pink nightgown is covered in dark muddy spots highlighted by a lone, blinking street light. Turning on my heel, I start my car and run back to the house to throw on actual clothing and grab Leif’s shirt off the edge of the bed, a sight I’ll probably never see again.

He’s buckling her into the backseat when I peer out the window on my way to Mom’s room to get her clean clothes. When I get to the front door to exit, Leif is standing there, running his hands through his soaked hair. “I’m sorry I didn’t hear her sooner,” he mutters, shaking his head, unable to meet my eyes. “I’m losing it.”

“No, I’m sorry,” I say, tears threatening. “I’m always going to be the one who needs you more than you need me. That’s not fair to you.”

Leif puts his hands on either side of my face. “Malena, stop it. You can’t help what happened. This isn’t your fault,” he says, anger lacing his words. This time, I do cry. Hard and furious. He folds me into his cold, wet arms. “This is going to keep happening,” Leif adds. I hear it. The words he left unsaid.If you don’t do something about it.

This is my lifeline. My phone a friend. My Hail Mary. If I don’t recognize it, I’d be a daft, dumb woman, and I’m not that. “Please help me, Leif. Call Celia? I need more help. She needs more,” I whisper through sobs. “She deserves more.”

He nods against my head and promises to get everything sorted as quickly as humanly possible. I believe him. He shrugs on the shirt I offer and shivers against the cold rain. I get in the driver’s side and he shuts the door behind me. Rolling down the window, I’m going to thank him again, but he leans in and kisses me instead.

“Drive safe. Call me when you get there,” he says, then turns his eyes to my mom. “Feel better Ms. Winterset.” Leif meets my gaze, the rain soaking through his shirt. “Call me,” he says, nodding his head. “I’m going to fix everything. Don’t worry about a thing.” He kisses me again. Slower this time, a hesitance to let me go, lips lingering, fingers caressing my face.

It was a kiss of a man who cares about a woman.

Leif just entered my bloodstream. With a kiss, he arrived and will never leave. His mouth left a stain on my soul. Bringing my fingers up to my own lips as I drive toward the emergency room, I let the shock of my realization seep in. I’m falling for Leif Andersson, better yet, I’ve already fallen for him.

All at once.

Because of a connection so strong I never knew it could exist. Is it breaking a rule if I don’t tell him?

---