Page 12 of Keeping It
Caroline
Bobby’s Bar smells like sweat and lies. The music is blaring from the beaten down jukebox, and Tahoe looks right at home as he edges in at the bar to grab us a couple of drinks, his monstrous figure forcing those sitting nearby to part. I play with the hem of my shirt and try to focus on the present instead of the way he made me feel in the cab of his truck. He almost kissed me. Told me I could be his girlfriend if I wanted to, basically said I already was. Words like I like you, and more than like, did things to my proverbial armor—pierced me directly in my heart. You’d think there would be something other than stroked desire after his spoken words, I don’t know, maybe something such as anger or disdain, but nothing else came. The wordsyes pleasenearly popped out of my mouth the second Malena banged on the window. I could have killed her for ruining that moment, but I was also grateful because I don’t seem to be thinking very clearly when I’m around Tyler these days. Or ever, honestly. A man like him doesn’t pursue a woman like me. If they did, I wouldn’t be single without a solitary prospect. I never pictured myself with an outsider, an intruder, but it’s easy to let my mind reason the magnetic draw to the massive, arrogant stranger. I can’t trust myself around him. It’s why I took the entire month to make a decision about the airport. Can I be around him on a regular basis and keep a level head? Do I trust myself to get closer to him than I already am? In the end, the money offered won out regardless of my feelings toward the man. Plus, my daddy didn’t raise a fool. When a once in a lifetime deal comes along, you take it. Isn’t that what being Tahoe’s girlfriend would be, though? A once in a lifetime deal? How do I adhere to one while abolishing the other?
Casually, I watch Tahoe as every woman in the room watches him. Even old Magdalena who hasn’t so much as looked at man’s foot since her husband Curtis died, has her mouth open as she takes in Tahoe’s physique.
Malena and a group of girlfriends, all of which I recognize, point at him. Even men narrow their eyes with contempt and jealousy as they study him. They don’t know how inside the rough, rogue exterior, he’s a decent guy. A smart man. A man who despite my best efforts, still hangs around after I’ve pushed him away. Sure, he says stupid things once in a while, but what man doesn’t?
Tahoe glances over his shoulder, a lopsided smirk morphing his chiseled features into something more boyishly handsome. I grin back, even though I have no idea what he’s smiling about. Surely being polar opposites never damned a relationship from the start? The possibility of success must be buried somewhere behind our vast differences. As I smile back at him, I’m aware that everyone is looking at me, a fact that would typically send me running for the hills. He’s looking at me, at no one else but me, and I’m basking in that knowledge. I make my way closer to him and grab for the foamy glass mug he’s extending. “What’s so funny?” I ask, sipping the white foam before it spills over the rim. “This place is kind of comical, but anything in specific?” I amend.
Tahoe takes a long swig while watching me over the rim of his beer. After he swallows, his neck working with more muscles than I have in my entire body, he lets out a long, satisfied breath. “Just how out of place you look here. Don’t come here often?” He grins.
“I should have known you were making fun of me. And to think, I was thinking,” I halt my words before I finish my thought.
“Thinking about what?” His laconic voice sends a shiver from the tip of my toes all the way to my head. “What we were talking about in the truck? The g-word?” He nods his head toward the door. “Want to go back and talk…some more?”
I shake my head before he’s finished speaking. “I was thinking that this whole room is staring at you right now.”
He heaves a shoulder up and down quickly. “And while I’m only interested in looking at you, I’d be remiss if we didn’t meet your friends.” Tahoe runs his tongue over his front teeth and he catches me watching his mouth. He quirks one brow in question. “What else were you thinking?”
I chug my beer while staring down the dusty, wooden ceiling. I can’t trust myself around him. Maybe that’s not a bad thing. “That they’re all staring at you because you’re so good looking.”
“Ohhhhhhh!” Tahoe yells, drawing gazes our way once again. “You actually said it out loud. It only took a month.”
Before I can object to his outright vanity he snakes an arm around my waist and draws me to him. Clinking his glass to mine, he then whispers, “I’ve got nothing on you. Looking at you is like looking at the sun, Caroline May. Everyone looking my way is only looking because they want to know what it is about me, that made you fall.” Staring wide eyed at his mouth, I’m aghast at what he’s insinuating, and gutted at the same time because he’s absolutely right. Not about me being the sun, no, that can’t be true, that’s a line, but I am falling for him. I let him hold me in this moment, staring into his mirthful eyes as some 80’s pop song echoes a synthesizer chorus around the small room. “You don’t have to admit it now. But I know,” Tahoe drawls. “Cheers,” he adds “to our first official date.”
I swallow down the bitter beer taste, and let his words float around a second or two before I come back to reality. Never in my life have I wanted to kill someone and kiss them at the same time. It’s a deliciously volatile feeling. Floating. Falling. Fretting. I take a sip of beer, but I don’t taste anything. My body is warming—the heat from his skin melting into me. My face heats, and even though I’d love to correct him and tell him this is our only date, I know for a fact that would be a lie. At this point, I’d do anything he says. Because I want him.
I want him.The admission feels odd and right at the same time.
He releases me, leaving my stomach bereft and cold. The hand holding my beer shakes a little and I have to make a concerted effort to still it. Tahoe notices—his eyes dropping to my hand, and then skimming the rest of my body. A throaty noise lets me know his obvious appraisal is satisfactory. Desire floods between my legs from a solitary noise.
Malena and Britt bound up to us, and it takes all of my strength to muster the ability to say hello. Malena introduces Britt to Tahoe and I smile, wondering how Tahoe can turn it off and on so quickly, when I’m trying not to quake with every emotion he’s invoking. The small talk seems so trivial to what’s happening inside my body and mind. Like I should be sitting alone, sifting through what everything means instead of talking about the approaching hurricane season. My heart is a hurricane. My body is an unloved temple seeking refuge with a man I wouldn’t know how to handle. Tahoe’s laugh breaks me from my horrendous, thrilling thoughts.
It’s also the same moment I see Whit approaching. “You gonna’ introduce me to your friend, Caroline?” Whit asks, the hint of drunken stupor tripping up his vowels. His gaze finds Malena as she appraises Tahoe with all the reverence of Christ on a cross. My heart starts racing.
Tahoe tilts his head to the side. “Whit, right? I’ve heard so much about you,” Tahoe croons, lips pressed together as he threatens everyone with a look. He looks at me conspiringly, and then back to the drunken has-been.
Whit runs a hand through his long red hair once, and then again. It’s a tell. He’s agitated. I hate that I know that fact about him. The negatives of living in a small town. Whit spits out a compliment about Malena because he assumes she’s been talking about him. He has no clue Tahoe knows all about him because I told him dirty secrets. “Congratulations, Whitney,” I say, breaking the awkward silence. “You too, Brittney. We all knew you guys would end up together.” I smile, hoping it looks genuine. Malena rolls her eyes. Tahoe covers a laugh with a cough.
Whit narrows his eyes at Tahoe, and I drain the rest of my beer.
“Looks like congrats are in order for you too, Caroline,” Britt replies, eyes flicking back to Tahoe’s midsection. Her words are hollow. After a couple decades of deciphering the almost imperceptible undertones of small town gossip, I hear the empty snark for what it really is. Jealousy.
Tahoe hears it too. He wraps an arm around my shoulders. “She’s pretty awesome, isn’t she? Landing the biggest contract this town has ever seen. Building and finishing her loft apartment on her own. You should see that thing. It’s beautiful. I’m telling you, it could be in a magazine,” he explains, waving his free palm in front of him, like he’s painting an invisible picture for them. I smile, because what else can I do in this moment? A moment he’s saving me from so gracefully, andmildly, even I have to acknowledge his non-effort.
“Stop it, you’re making me blush. You helped me,” I quip. “Gave it that manly flair,” I tease.
Tahoe brushes my compliment aside and continues on. “You should have a housewarming party,” he gushes. “You guys would come, right?” The horrified look on my face must stoke their curiosity because not only do they agree, they are voracious in their agreement, Malena even offering to help me plan it.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Tahoe,” I say. “We can talk about it later.”
“Nonsense. It’s a great idea. Everyone wants to see what you do up there...I mean see your new house.” Britt says, staring at Tahoe. “Right, Whit?” she adds on as an afterthought, grabbing his elbow.
“Yeah. I’d love to see it. Coming here and snapping up all the prime real estate,” Whit mumbles, slinking back to the bar for a refill without as much as a nod.
Britt brushes him off, giggling nervously. “You’ll be there?” she asks Tahoe.
Malena even looks uncomfortable, shifting from one foot and looking off to the side. Tahoe laughs, all white shark teeth and astonishment. I shrink into myself a little more. Britt is proving why a relationship with Tahoe would never work. He’s out of my league and it’s obvious to everyone around us. Why do I care? “I’ll be there. Caroline can’t keep me away. Right, Sunny?” Tahoe asks. It takes a second for me to realize he’s referring to me.
