Page 16 of Crazy Good
Steve snorts then says, “You haven’t bagged her yet?” Stone clears his throat. Tongue choke. Just what I thought.
“It’d be best if you don’t talk about her and bagging in the same sentence, Steve,” I say, feeling a bit defensive.
“He told you to back off her, man. That should have told you everything you needed to know. Our buddy Mav here actually gives a shit. For the first time in his life,” Stone says. “I fucking knew it. I knew it!” He fishes his cell phone out of pocket and pounds out a text. I shake my head.
“Morganna owes me a blow job all-the-way tonight. I fucking told her you weren’t going to bag and bash on Windsor, but she didn’t believe me.” With good reason. I have huge dickhead status when it comes to Morg. She’s seen or heard about them all. I do meanall.
“Don’t bet blow jobs on my fucking life,” I tell him, but I’m laughing. It feels kind of nice to beat Morganna. She never loses. Anything. Steve has already lost interest, wandering away and shaking his head as he goes.
As far as Steve is concerned I’m just like Stone, one of the few other guys who only fucks one woman. Except I’m worse—I’m not fucking anyone. I feel nauseous when I think about fucking one woman for the rest of my life. But isn’t that what this is? I can’t even look at another woman the way I used to. I compare them to Windsor, and there is just no comparison. I haven’t even gone past second base with the woman and I know she’s going to rock my God damned world like a hurricane when I finally get inside her. The anticipation is almost too much. That says something because I thrive on the feeling of not knowing what comes next, yet knowing I’ll be able to conquer it completely.
“What’s the S.O.P for this? I’m in the dark,” I ask Stone as he flings himself onto the couch. I’m more nervous about letting a woman into my world than going down range with bullets whizzing past my head. I can do bullets. I can do bad guys hiding in closets with AKs. I can’t do this. “I don’t even know what this means. I feel crazy, man,” I whisper. I can tell Stone anything. And admitting this is fucking hard.
He flicks on the big screen television to create noise. “There is no standard operating procedure for this. This isn’t something you can control, like every other facet of your meticulous fucking world. That’s the point. That’s why you feel like this. You’re taking a risk in something that you’ve never dabbled in before. It’s something you didn’t even do with her.” He says the last part with mock disgust. We don’t talk abouther. I don’t even like to think abouther. She’s known as the biggest mistake of my life in a tiny, bitchy, blonde monster package. I’ll pay for that blunder for the rest of my life. Literally.
I sigh. “Maybe I’m too fucked up to get into this with her. I should just back off now.”
“Is that what you want to do?”
“No. I don’t even think I could if I wanted to,” I say. Lacing my hands around the back of my head, I look up to the ceiling. “I hired Tawny to go clean my house. I haven’t even asked Windsor to come over yet. She might freak the fuck out and say no. She knows about my hotel thing. It’s probably too big of a step.” Stone is shaking his head before I finish.
“You really haven’t bagged her?” he asks. I wince at the word, but figure if I hear him talk about bagging his wife, I shouldn’t correct the word now. In my mind I’ve fucked her every way imaginable. Even a few ways I’m not sure are possible while having a spine.
“No,” I admit. “And not because she hasn’t wanted it. She has begged me a million different ways. I can’t say no anymore, dude. It’s killing me. Just the aftermath…and everything that will change when it’s a done deal. Fuck!” Stone points the remote at the TV and changes the channel. I can’t explain how just being with her, not touching or kissing or even talking, is enough. It’s enough for me. Fucking that up isn’t an option. She’s open and honest and all at once it fucking hits me: that’s probably one reason, if not the main reason I can’t push her away…why I don’t want to push her away. She doesn’t hide a thing from me.
Even if she tried, I’d see it as clear as the blue of her eyes. I’ve only had that with one other person. And he has a vagina dick, so I can’t put them in the same column. She wants to have sex with me, but that’s not all she wants from me…like all the other women. They say they want more…I never believed them, though.
“You can do this, Maverick. You got this. You deserve this. I’m not gonna go all homo on you, but if it’s easy…then it’s right. That’s how I knew with Morg. Granted she’s as predictable as a snake, but I don’t think around her…it just is. I’m not up in your business but I see enough to know that whatever you have with Windsor is good,” he says. The word again—good. She is so fucking good. Stone’s right.
I feel like a pussy, but I need to hear him say these things. Call it a weakness from growing up in a family that never accepted or appreciated anything about me or my life, but there it is. I get what I need elsewhere. From my brother.
“Tawny’s probably all up in your shit at the house. I can’t believe you let her in there.” Stone laughs. It’s over. The moment passes but everything remains. Everything.
Steve jukes his way toward us wearing boxing gloves and an American flag speedo. “Who’s fucking Tawny?” he asks while upper cutting the air.
“No!” both Stone and I say at the same time.
I stand up and hold my hands so Steve can punch them. “Johnny got the clap from Tawny last year, remember? No one fucks Tawny anymore,” I say. Steve slams a gloved fist into my palm. “She’s cleaning my house,” I explain.
“She cleaned my pipes when I was going through BUD/s,” Steve says with a smile. “Tawny was a Phantom.” That fact, I did forget. During training there is a phone number you call in the middle of the night and a girl comes to you wherever you’re at and blows you. You can’t look at them because their identity is supposed to be a secret. Tawny has a tongue piercing and long fingernails. Steve, like any good SEAL, sleuthed her out after she sucked him off. She worked at the coffee stand in Coronado where we were going through training. Secret Phantom no more. She followed one of the guys over to Virginia Beach, and somehow that woman is still a staple in our community.
I’m shopping with Morg Gretch n Jess. Need a ‘dress’ for tonight ;)Windsor’s text comes through. The damn winky face is enough to make me anxious to see her in whatever “dress” she gets.
My big thumbs tap out a text before I even think.I need to see you before tonight.Meet me for lunch.
Where?I love that there’s no pause or hesitation.
Cappy’s. In 30?That will give me enough time to go home, make sure my shit is still there and change.
Can’t wait to see you ;) ;)
I’m smiling like a ten year old when I realize Steve and Stone are staring at me. “What?” I ask, knowing full well they won’t say anything.
Stone coughs and says, “Pussy whipped,” at the same time.
“No dude you have to tap the pussy before you can be whipped,” Steve says, calmly, like he’s quoting scientific data.
“And on that note, I need to make sure she’s cleaning the proper pipes,” I say, bringing the conversation back to Tawny as I grab my duffel bag off the ground. It’s Frogman Friday. It’s always a light day at the office. Soon my days will be anything but light. I’m deploying in a month. My new unspoken challenge, that has flipped and reversed since Windsor walked into my world, is to make her mine before I leave.
