He laughs. “Of course I know you have different holes. We have gotten so off topic that I’m not even sure what we were supposed to be talking about.” He pauses for a moment or two, eyes narrowed in my direction. “Oh, yes. Dealing with men like me.”
Sighing I finish the last few bites. “Let me hear your sob story. How it’s so hard to be you.”
“It’s not hard to be me. It’s hard to be with me.”
I know we’re playing Honest War, but it still takes me back. I nod for him to continue. “Valen, because I’m a SEAL I’m gone most of the time. The divorce rate in the Teams is upwards of seventy-five percent. It’s hard to keep a relationship functioning when most of the time I’m not even in the same time zone. Did you consider that when you pegged down your fantasy? A life of absence and solitary living? That’s what it is for the most part.”
I swallow hard. It’s not that I hadn’t considered deployments before, I guess I never broke it down to the micro level. “The thing is that I’m a very independent person. I’ve worked hard to build my career, buy a house, maintain stable friendships, and I want the best in the relationship arena as well. I understand what you’re saying, but what I’m feeling is that I can handle these things. And while dealing with deployments and trips isn’t ideal, it could be…worth it.”
He nods. “You’re right. It could be worth it. It could also crash and burn. I’m not one to slip a pair of rose hued glasses on and not consider every possible outcome, Valen. Relationships haven’t worked out for me in the past.”
I clear my throat and drain my wine glass. “Because they haven’t been with me.”