Page 217 of Mountain of Mirrors and Starlight
She still had to tell him what had happened in the Mirror—what had really happened. She told her father about it earlier as they were sealing the Mirror away in the vault, just in case that changed his mind about how to handle it. He’d been surprised about the Mirror’s powers, but he remained adamant in his decision to lock it away. “Some things are better off buried, Daughter,” he’d said. “The dwarves knew that. Our fae ancestors knew it too, when they helped them seal it away the first time. Your sweetheart knew it too, when he gave up his powers. He knew no one should use them.”
Aislinn had had to agree.
Caer frowned. “Are you all right?”
“I have something to tell you.”
“I’m all ears.”
She glanced around them. “Not here,” she said, and led him back to the room she’d been using before her abrupt departure. It didn’t look like anyone had been in it for the last few days. The bed was unmade and her belongings still where she’d left them.
“So,” Caer started, “what did you want to tell me?”
Aislinn took a deep breath, and told him. Caer was silent throughout, and she couldn’t muster the strength to look at him. What if this changed everything? What if he hated her for the choice she’d made?
Silence descended once she’d finished her tale.
“Say something, Caer.”
“It was you,” Caer whispered, “all my life, that feeling I was missing something, that my life was meant to be lived outside the walls of Afelcarreg… it was you.”
“Caer,” Aislinn said, “you seem to be missing the point that your powers—everything that happened with your mother, the people you killed—that was me, too.”
“Ah,” he said, “right. Well, I suppose so, but… you did it to save me, so try not to wallow too much. If you want forgiveness, I won’t give it—it isn’t needed.”
She swallowed. “There’s also the question of whether or not your affections for me might have been… led, somewhat, by the fact you were already sharing my heart.”
Caer shook his head, smiling. “No,” he said, “because you weren’t sharing mine. Although it might explain why I was able to bring you back after your heart stopped, why I felt like my own would stop if yours did.” He brought his face closer, resting his forehead against hers, cupping her face. “Cariad,” he said, “my heart was yours when I gave it. No time-bending magic created my affection for you.”
“If you’re sure…”
“Absolutely.”
“Then help me out of these clothes.”
Caer grinned, although his mouth dropped slightly when his hands moved towards her dress. It was still covered in blood. His fingers trembled against her throat.
“When Aeron cut you—”
She caught his hand. “I’m all right, Caer.”
“I should have tried to—”
“No,” she said, “you shouldn’t. And I’m glad of it. Love isn’t just about doing the crazy, self-sacrificing shit. It’s about knowing what the other person would want you to do. It’s about knowing the big wants and the little ones.”
“You sound like quite the expert on love. Should I be jealous of any past paramours?”
“No,” she said. “It’s only ever been you, for me. In the ways that matter.”
Caer smiled. His fingers dipped to the sleeve of her dress, and he slowly peeled it off her shoulder.
“I’d…. really like a bath before we begin,” Aislinn admitted.
Caer’s grin was wicked. “I’d really like to join you.”
They walked towards the tub and turned on the taps, trading light kisses as they thumbed through scented oils and lotions, rubbing tiny, lazy circles over wrists and shoulders and necks. Aislinn had been dreaming about this bath all day. She’d wanted to step away before now, to be clean and fresh when she pulled him into her bed and made good on her promises, but she couldn’t bring herself to separate from him for any longer than was strictly necessary.
And anyway, she was going to be dirty and blood-covered and smelly at some point in their lives together. She shouldn’t have to be embarrassed. She certainly didn’t care about his present condition.
