Page 84 of Breaking Emily's Rules
As if they’d been doing it all along, Sierra situated herself in Molly’s lap, squirming until she got comfortable. Molly touched her baby’s soft curls and opened the book. She read the title and wondered if Dylan had picked this one only to hurt Molly.
I’ll Love You Forever.She remembered the story.Molly read the book, swallowing the golf ball in her throat so Dylan wouldn’t know how much it hurt. This mother had stayed. This mother had never left her baby. Unlike Molly. Point taken, Dylan.
Never let them see you sweat.She wouldn’t let Dylan have the satisfaction. Molly kept reading, as Sierra alternately touched the pages and sucked her thumb. Finally Molly closed the book to find her baby asleep in her arms. As though it was the most natural place in the world for her to fall asleep because maybe, on some cellular level, Sierra did remember.
“Sorry about that,” Dylan said, not looking the least bit sorry. “I forgot this book puts her to sleep.”
He came closer, as though he believed he had a chance in hell of taking Sierra out of Molly’s arms.
“But I just got here.” Molly pulled Sierra closer. “I don’t care if she’s asleep.”
“This is crazy. She doesn’t even know you’re here now. You’re basically visiting with me. Is that what you want?”
“What I want is to jump into a time machine and go back. I don’t want to miss her first steps, her first word. I want to take it all back.”
Now the tears filled her eyes. Dammit. Sierra seemed to have the same skill that Emily did at turning Molly from an edgy cactus into a soft fluffy pillow. Had to be some kind of recessive gene on the Parker side that had missed her.
“Even leaving me?” Dylan asked.
For the first time since she could remember, Molly was speechless. What could she say? That she wished he could still love her, if she hadn’t done something so horrible, so unforgivable that whatever affection he’d had for her had died. That she realized he couldn’t love her any more than she could love herself right now?
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Dylan said, a harsh edge in his voice.
“Go ahead and let me have it. You know you want to.” Holding Sierra gave her a kind of peace she’d forgotten existed.
Dylan took the invitation. “What did you think would happen when you showed back up? Am I supposed to just open up my arms and forget everything?”
“I’m sorry,” Molly realized in that moment it might have been the first time she’d said it to Dylan and meant it.
“I wish I could trust you, because I know Sierra needs her mother. But I don’t believe you’ll stay. I think you’ll get your fill of playing with her and take off again.”
“No, I won’t. It’s different now.”
“How?”
“I don’t know how, it just is. I didn’t want to leave, but I just didn’t know how to stay. I thought maybe someone else could raise her and do a better job than me. Like you. But I couldn’t forget her. And then I realized that I didn’t want someone else to raise her. Even if they could do it better than me.” She hung her head. “I’m sorry if that sounds selfish.”
“It is selfish. In a good way.”
Silenced passed between them, and Molly bent down to kiss Sierra’s soft cheek.
Dylan stood. “Do you want to see her room? You can put her in the crib.”
She wasn’t sure she wanted to let go, but Dylan had offered to let her see Sierra’s bedroom. This was progress.
He wasn’t going to fight her anymore. “Okay.”
Dylan leaned down and took Sierra from her arms so Molly could stand up. She followed Dylan into a pink room, much like the room Molly had shared with Emily for years. Pink gingham curtains hung on the windows, rainbow colored letters on the wall spelled out Sierra, and a beautiful white canopy crib stood in the center of the room.
For the first six months of her life, Sierra had slept in a cradle beside their bed. Molly’s side, of course, so Dylan could get his sleep. Back then Molly had wondered if there would ever be a time when Sierra would sleep in her own bedroom, and now here it was in living color. A little princess room.
“She sleeps in here?”
“Most of the time. I know you didn’t think it would ever happen, but she does sleep through the night now.” Dylan skillfully let down the side rail with his knee and laid Sierra down.
“Does she try climbing out of here yet? Because Emily says I climbed out of my crib when I was one.”
“I’m not surprised.” Dylan almost cracked a smile. “She hasn’t tried that yet.”
