Page 74 of Soldier Cowboy
“Because you have nothing to be ashamed of and you need to stop believing any of what happened was your fault.”
“Iknowit’s not my fault.”
“I’m not sure you do. There’s still some small part of you that takes on some of the blame. And wrong as it is, I don’t think that’s uncommon.”
“Oh, now you know everything. You’re an expert?” A small spark of anger surged and spread.
He didn’t take the bait and pulled her back into his arms. “No, I’m not, sweetheart. But I know someone who might be.”
“Eve?”
“Riggs told me that she’s been giving talks to domestic violence groups. She went through something similar. I figured it couldn’t hurt to talk to her and she will keep your confidence. I know Eve and her family. They’ve been in Stone Ridge forever and are people you can count on.”
“Something similar?” Jennifer was now intrigued.
The confident, self-assured veterinarian had been stalked at one time? She carried herself without a hint of fear. It was inspiring to believe Jennifer could also stop blaming herself for having wanted people to like her.
“I’d rather her tell you but for what it’s worth, it sounds worse than what happened to you. She didn’t manage to get away from her stalker in time.”
“Oh no. Poor Eve.”
“I thought it might be good for you to have someone to talk to that understands what you’ve been through. Unlike me.”
No, he’d been through farworseand was now trying to help her. God, she was an idiot sometimes.
“I’m sorry I got angry. I know you mean well.”
He brought her fingers to his lips and spoke through them. “I know what it’s like to have people all around who want to help but who have no idea what you’ve been through. They do the best they can, given the circumstances. But even though I doubted it would make a difference, I found it helped for someone to listen without judgement.”
“What if I toldyoueverything that happened?”
Maybe he could be a trial run before she shared with Eve. Colton was this solid presence in her life. If she couldn’t tell him, she couldn’t tellanyone. And yeah, maybe it would be good to talk to Eve if she’d been through something similar and was now such a confident woman, good at her occupation. A wife and new mother.
“You can tell me anything you want.”
And so, while he held her, she told him everything. Every last detail of the reason she’d been torn away from her life. She told him about the first time she’d run into Dan in a coffee shop, all handsome and well dressed. Successful. How she’d only later learned, on their one and only date, that he was a huge fan of the podcast. How she really hadn’t put together until later that he’d been stalking her before they’d even met, knowing where she liked to grab a coffee, shop for groceries, go out to dinner.
How little by little he eroded her self-esteem and security about the world, texting and emailing her. A restraining order had only worked to a point. Then he watched her from a distance, never crossing the line, but still called and emailed. She changed her phone. She eventually stopped leaving the condo. She’d lost friends who didn’t understand how she’d allowed this kind of a man into her life. Who, whether they’d meant to or not, had put some of the blame on her.
Colton slid his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion. He didn’t say a word. Just listened.
She ended by wetting his chest with big, sloppy tears over the life she’d lost.
Over the career that had supported her financially and that she’d probably never get back.
The apartment that had once been her safe haven and now only reminded her of how she’d been trapped inside it.
The peace of mind he’d robbed which she secretly worried she’dneverget back.
“Youaregoing to get it back. Everything you want.”
Then he rolled her under him, threading his fingers through hers, kissing her slow and sweet. And then again, not as sweet, and not nearly as slow. Urgent, needy. Desperate. And she matched him in every way, clutching him to her, urging him closer and deeper. He pulled her knee to his hip and entered her in one feverish thrust.
It was a long while before either of them spoke.
CHAPTER19
Jennifer might be using him, but Colton found that he didn’t care.
