Page 98 of Weekends with the Sunshine Gardening Society
Although some days are less hard. There is more distraction and satisfaction in gardening with the Sunshine ladies than she could have anticipated. At the end of their hours together she has – they have – achieved something. The same cannot be said for the rest of her life: she feels like there is no achievement, just maintenance.
She said something along those lines to her mother the other day and was swiftly reprimanded.
‘How can you say that?’ her mother said. ‘When you have suffered a loss like this,each dayis an achievement. Some people never recover! You have a job, you have a child, and you are still the lovely daughter we have always had.’
Logically, Elizabeth can see her mother’s point. Emotionally, she can’t understand it. Perhaps it’s not for her to understand, though. Perhaps it is, in the final analysis of a life, for God alone. God may judge her more kindly than she’s judging herself, and she knows she should give herself some leeway accordingly, but knowing and doing are separate matters.
The rest of the service seems to pass her by because she is wrapped up in her thoughts. Charlie is uncharacteristically still; probably because he knows there’s a reward forhimon the other side of this. They’re going to visit Lorraine and that means he can play with Simon.
The drive to Lorraine’s marks the first time Elizabeth has taken the Cooroy Noosa Road. It seems ridiculous, but in all the time she’s lived on the Sunshine Coast her life has been mostly circumscribed by the area around the house.
It’s a windy day and she keeps an eye on tree branches by the roadside that look as if they might snap off, finally turning onto Lorraine’s street with relief.
Simon in the front garden indicates she’s at the right house. ‘Hi!’ he calls, waving and grinning.
He’s a sweet boy and Elizabeth is grateful to him for being kind to Charlie; because Simon is older it’s not as though they would naturally be friends otherwise. After their first meeting Charlie talked about Simon for days, and now he leaps out of the car as soon as Elizabeth puts the brake on.
‘Charlie! What did I say about waiting until the engine is off?’ she calls after him, but he’s too excited to hear her.
Lorraine is at the front door, wiping her hands on her dress as Elizabeth walks up.
‘How was church?’ she says, grinning then hugging Elizabeth.
‘It was … fine.’ Elizabeth holds up a pound cake. ‘Fresh out of the oven this morning.’
‘You made?’
‘I did.’
‘Lizzie!’ Lorraine jostles her. ‘Hidden talents! Don’t tell Shirl or she’ll get you baking morning tea.’
‘I wouldn’t mind,’ Elizabeth says, and she really wouldn’t, because she might find a sense of achievement in that if nothing else.
‘So you hesitated when I asked you about church,’ Lorraine says as she leads the way through the house towards the rear.
As they pass the stairs Elizabeth can hear music playing, and she thinks she sees someone out of the corner of her eye in the sitting room. Signs of life, of other people, that a house should have.
‘Did I?’ she says as they enter the kitchen.
‘Yeah. You paused, then said “fine” like I was pulling out one of your teeth.’
Lorraine gestures for Elizabeth to sit down at the table. From here the sounds of the boys in the garden are audible and Elizabeth allows herself to relax into the chair.
‘Did I?’ she says again.
‘Is that the only thing you’re going to say?’ Lorraine purses her lips. ‘This isn’t an interrogation, Lizzie, I’m just trying to find out how church went! And I think you’re lying to me!’
Lorraine has a look of false outrage and Elizabeth starts to laugh. ‘Why are you so interested in my church experience?’
‘Because it’s important to you and I’m trying to, y’know, be a friend or something. I’m looking out for you, all right? Just let me.’
Now she looks like she’s satisfied she’s said her piece.
‘Today’s service was about struggle,’ Elizabeth says. ‘And the readings, the hymns, were so on point … I thought maybe the reverend had designed the service for me.’
‘Did you ask him?’
‘No.’
